Because Someone Decided to Shoot Me
by Dreams-Wishes-Hopes
Summary: I ended up being sent to the primitive times of Naruto, accidentally becoming the Ten-Tails host and adopted daughter of the Sage of Six Paths. Did I mention I'm immortal? Yup, plenty of time to become buddies with Itachi and annoy Tobirama. Let's just hope I can give this world it's happy ending, saving and changing lives, without hurting someone, again. AU and canon, combined.
1. Prologue

**"I intend to live forever. So far, so good." -Steven Wright**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Dedicated to: Darkpetal16, who's story 'Sakura' inspired this story. (I highly recommend you read it.)**

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**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_ (thinking only happens when perspective changes to another character besides main character)

"Talking"

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**~First person perspective~**

I was walking around one of the parks of San Jose, California. The last time I had been here, I was ten years old. But now, I was an eighteen year old girl attending Stanford university, living in the house she spent her baby days in, with her best friend as a roommate, or housemate.

_'Ya know, I'm surprised that those therapists didn't erase us,_' my pacifist part of me said. Did I mention that I had a bunch personalities. Emphasize on had. When I was young, I went to a therapist for my multi personality disorder, and most of my other personalities disappeared. Emphasize on most.

**'Those therapists were mean, do you know how awful it feels to be merged with three other personalities?'** My sadistic side said. Really, the therapists just merged my personalities together, most merged into myself, the others merged with my two strongest alter egos, sadist and pacifist.

"May!" A voice called to me. I turned to look at my best friend, and roommate, err, housemate, Jean. She had dyed, long dark blue hair, and sparkling green eyes, usually she had grey contacts on though. She was wearing a dark grey shirt with white manuscript, black shorts, and grey sandals, her clothes only making her pale skin look paler. Jean always fit in with groups, and was always accepted, I guess she is what you would call 'the popular girl'. She had no secrets, none, everyone knew she liked anime and that she had a strange obsession with nursery rhymes, something that most people would think she'd want to keep a secret. "May! That's where you went! Anyway, you won't believe what came out! The next Naru-" My pale and anime-loving friend squealed, until I covered her mouth. When I released my palm from her mouth, she sighed. "Sheesh May, why does it have to be kept a secret?"

I gave her a stern look. I didn't want anyone to know my secret. Because, yes, I, May, the girl who's hobby was playing dull classical music on the violin, the bookworm who did nothing but study and read, had a secret so out of character, that if it we're let out, it would spread around campus in fifteen minutes flat. In fact, I had many secrets that were so out of character, that you could probably write a hundred page book on them.

But this one, was my biggest one yet. I, was a complete fangirl of Naruto, even more so then Jean, who was so infatuated with the show and manga that she dyed her hair dark blue and wore grey contacts to make her look like Hinata, her favorite character. Why was this my biggest secret? Because I was known as that girl in school who did not tolerate misbehaving and had no time for silly things like 'parties that end at 3:00 A.M.' and 'watching the latest episode of Naruto in the middle of the night'.

But that was only a stereotype that everyone decided to put on my shoulders. Though nobody came from my elementary school in North Las Vegas (besides Jean), where I was dubbed 'The insane girl that enjoys explosions and fire'. There, people feared me, but at the same time, thought I was pretty cool.

I had an entire room filled with my Naruto items and collectables, which didn't take up much space since Jean and I lived alone in a house, that was fairly large, but still quite cozy. Jean, could hide her Naruto collectables in her walk in closet, but I, who was obsessed with the super awesome anime, had a room dedicated to Naruto.

I had fake books that resembled Jiraiya's novels, plush dolls of the Akatsuki, plastic shuriken and kunai, a bunch of ninja outfits, and even a bookshelf filled with manga. I created maps of the lands in the Naruto-verse, an ANBU mask, a model of Hokage mountain, and even an Akatsuki cloak, hat, and ring. So many Naruto things you could name, and there was a high chance that it was in my room.

**'Yeah, something is definitely wrong with us,'**

_'You're only noticing that now?'_

I turned around, tuning out my alter egos, after I snapped out of my thoughts, and ran after Jean who was heading home. It was already sunset, so most people were at home. Jean had stopped a couple feet away from me, and when I got close enough, I saw that her emerald eyes were widened.

And the last thing I heard was my best friend's voice calling my name, as I felt fire throughout my body. I looked down to see a deep gash in my skin, bloody, with a bullet imbedded into it. And suddenly, everything went...

**'RAINBOW!'**

* * *

I woke up, gasping for air, only to see that my shoulder length auburn hair ended at the end of my back. And I looked like a two year old. I was a freaking two year old! I opened up my mouth and said a couple words. They came out high-pitched.

**'Nooo! I don't want a high-pitched voice again! I can't go through this torture again!'** My sadistic part of me said, as she began crying anime tears and falling to her knees.

Then, after ranting about how retarded and crazy I was in my childhood, I noticed that I was still bleeding, and I still had the gash in my side. Great, just great, first I'm a fucking two year old, now I'm going to die of blood loss and infection.

_'Didn't I tell you that cussing was a bad habit that shouldn't be practiced?'_

**'Yes, you tell her just as much as you tell me, but you never see me listening to you now do you, pacifist bitch?'**

I got up, and noticed I was still wearing my black penguin shirt, gray track pants, black flip flops, and grey scarf. Thanks to me doing a lot of pranks in elementary, I was a master in observation because I had to make sure I wasn't caught, I was able to cut my shirt and make it into a dress using a really sharp and shiny rock I found on top of a bunch of pebbles, that were behind a really big and badly burnt tree. Yup, try doing that, while your getting dizzy from blood loss. Sadly, my penguin was cut out, so I had a plain black dress now.

I got up and tied my scarf, now cut smaller with my pointy rock, over my wound to help prevent infection, using the remainder of the scarf to make a smaller scarf and a belt to hold my dress together. I began walking off, and found some guy sleeping. I decided to ask him where I was and how I could get back home. And do you know about that one lesson that you're always taught in elementary? You know that 'Stranger danger' one? Yeah, I don't know what that is. Mainly because I was not allowed to any assembly because I ended up pranking all the teachers or a group of students there. So, Jean usually lectured me about what went on in those assemblies, since we were always in at least one class together, and she was given the assignment to watch over me in elementary. Except me and Jean weren't friends in elementary, we were epic rivals.

I imagined my sadistic side who was probably busy crying over my penguin that had to be separated from my shirt/dress.

Anyway, I poked him with my rock, which was not the greatest idea, because I ended up making him bleed. Me, being the weird person I am, did not freak out, and instead, kicked the guy, yelling at him to wake up. It was only then, that I noticed he was dead.

Then, I began freaking out. I thought I killed some random stranger! Now I'm a murderer!

_'Noo! We're way too young to be a murderer! This is just great, now we're the world's youngest murderer, because we got stuck in a fucking two year old body!' _a part of me, the pacifist, said. Though it was a little hard to tell it was her since she cussed in that sentence, and it's usually only sadistic side and I, who cuss when we're talking in our mind.

The sadist said, **'Oh! Congratulations pacifist bitch, you finally cussed out loud and not in your head, that you insist is soooo innocent and pure!'** I guess she got over Mr. Penguin when she heard my pacifist side talking.

I continued to rant on in my head with my two sides, until I looked down at the rock, and noticed what it really was, a knife.

**'We found a knife!' **My sadistic side of me said as she began dancing in my mind. My pacifist side was probably staring at it in horror, because it had blood on it.

So, after I stopped my sadistic side's awkward dancing moment, I then switched into serious mode, which was basically sadist and pacifist combined, how I usually am.

I then pondered on why there was a knife here. And so, me being the mentally insane girl I was, I began to walk around a forest that I didn't even know, until, I heard an explosion. So, me being even more crazy in the head, I walked towards the direction of the explosion out of curiosity.

And you know the saying, 'Curiosity killed the cat,' well it just happened to be that that saying came true once. When I was a little girl, I was going to play a prank on Jean, because we were epic rivals and all, so I sent my cat, Whiskers, to monitor Jean. Whiskers was like a ninja cat, and because I trusted him and his ninja cat powers, I sent him on the super important mission. However, Whiskers got curious and wandered towards the seafood restaurant that was across the street from a music store, where Jean was. I watched from the camera attached to Whiskers' back in horror as he got trampled by a truck, and I never saw him again.

_'May _**Whiskers **_rest in _**peace,' **my sadistic and pacifist side said at the same time, as we remembered the awful memory.

Anyway, I keep on going off track, once I got to the location of the explosion, my eyes widened tenfold. Right in front of me, was a battle against a thing that reminded me of the Ten-Tails from Naruto. I panicked, mainly because there was no battle against a giant monster happening anywhere near California, I think. Meaning, I had either traveled through space, time, or dimensions. First of all, there was currently no giant monster fighting in the world, so traveling through space was out. Second, the two people fighting the thing had weird hair colors, so I didn't travel through time. So, with my reasonable thinking, I finally concluded that I ended up in another dimension.

The rational part of me, my pacifist side, told me that it was just a dream. The crazy part of me, which was obviously my sadistic side, totally agreed with me that we traveled to another dimension.

I turned my head, after I tuned out the bickering going on in my head, only to be greeted with a thing that looked like tail, fly straight at me.

I was struck with the tail and sent into the air, towards the beast, and at the same time, somebody did something to the beast, because it seemed to be thrashing around, as if it were trying to escape a cage or barrier.

However, just before I lost my consciousness, I could feel something powerful entering my tiny body. That, and the words of my alter egos, probably because they thought it was the end of us.

_'I have a strange feeling we're going to live,'_

**'If we die, and you're ever reborn, don't go to therapists, remember, they're the reason why most of your best friends merged with you, me, and this pacifist bitch,'**

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**Nene: This was only an introduction to the story!**

**Deidara: When do I come in, un?**

**Nene: Deidara, for the last time, the story timeline starts way before you were born.**

**Tobi: Tobi will be in the story earlier than you, Deidara-sempai! Because I'm older than you!**

**Deidara: I refuse to believe that a hyper five year old is older than me!**

**Nene: Deidara for the last time! Tobi is actually -beeeeeep- and only uses a facade.**

**Deidara: What was with that beep?**

**Tobi: It's because Tobi doesn't want people to know who Tobi really is! Even though, if they're up to date on Naruto manga, they would know who I am.**

**Nene: Yes, Tobi, yes. Now will you do the honor?**

**Tobi: Of course Nene-chan! Review people! It always makes people happy!**


	2. Family and Personalities

**"All generalizations are false, including this one." -Mark Twain**

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**Disclaimer: Why would I be writing this if I owned Naruto?**

**Dedicated to: My first reviewers, JustFabulous and Itachilicious.**

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**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_ (thinking only happens when perspective changes to another character besides main character)

"Talking"

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**~First person perspective~**

I felt power shoot through my body. And you know what? It was very disturbing when I felt it. It was even more disturbing when I entered my mind-scape and saw my two personalities battling the Ten-Tailed beast from Naruto. But I think the weirdest part was seeing my alter egos.

First of all, my sadistic side was wearing a fucking pink sundress and black flats. You would not expect someone who loves violence to wear such a fucking bright shade of pink. Second of all, she looked like a Uchiha, with the sharingan on. Her hair looked liked raven feathers, since it was short and choppy, and if you lengthen the hair, make her older, replace her sharingan eyes with black ones, and make her sane, she would look somewhat like Mikoto, Sasuke's mother. Third, she looked innocent. Even though she was laughing like a maniac, and fighting like a serial killer, she still looked fucking innocent. Maybe it was because she looked like a two year old? I wouldn't know.

Seeing my pacifist side scared the shit out of me. She had long straight chocolate hair pulled in pigtails, caramel eyes, and there were a lot of scars on her. Just imagine a hundred scars on a two year old. Her clothes looked like they were for fighting, and she had a lot of bandages wrapped around her. A teal off-shoulder top, and khaki cargo shorts, with black sandals that reminded me of the ones in Naruto. My pacifist side had bandages wrapped around her forehead, from her wrists to her elbows, around her neck, and on her right ankle. And I just have to say, that she did not look like a pacifist, especially with that huge scar on her shoulder, and all the blood leaking out of her skin.

Anyways, they were fighting the Ten-Tails, and seemed like they were winning. The beast, however, was screaming and screaming and screaming so much, that it got kind of annoying. I mean, sure it was powerful, but did it really have to yell in my head? Do you know how much the migraine I have currently hurts? No? Well, it's like there are five tons on top of me, and every fucking scream you yell makes it five times fucking worse you fucking Ten-Tails!

_'What did I say about cussing?'_ My pacifist scolded me, as she began to form a cage for the Ten-Tails, inside my mind.

Oh yeah, they can hear me in my mind since they're in my mind. But I'm in my mind. So wouldn't that mean that this is no longer my mind and my mind is in my head? But this is my mind, so does that mean that I currently have no mind? Ugh, this sooooo confusing!

**'Ahh, don't worry May, it may be confusing as hell, but eventually, we'll somehow figure out logic...and physics...and reality...and-'** my sadistic side began to say, until my pacifist side cut her off.

_'She gets it, one day we'll figure out life. Now will you please put the Ten-Tails in the cage? I'm not exactly the best at keeping this monster at bay!'_

My sadistic side didn't answer, and instead, she took a chain that my pacifist side was using to keep the monster down, and began to pull the Ten-Tails into the cage.

I gaped at her strength. She was pulling the thing like it was nothing! Let me remind you that I, my alter egos included, was a two year old! Doing that isn't human! But then again, my alter egos aren't human, there more of souls or spirits.

**'Ha! Finally, we caged that bastard! Do you know how rude it was? No manners at all!'** My sadistic side sighed in relief as she closed the cage. She then walked over to my pacifist side and I, and out of no where, a table and chairs popped into my mind. **'Sit down! It's time for tea and crumpets!'** She exclaimed, as tea and pastries fell from the sky in my mind and onto the table.

I looked at my pacifist side warily, but was surprised to see that was already sitting, drinking tea. _'What? I'm used to this, she does this whenever we have a discussion. Which happens a lot.'_ My pacifist side said as she bit into a cupcake.

I deemed the food and tea safe, and sat down, drinking some lemon tea that was set out for me.** 'Now! First things first! May, welcome to your mind!'** My sadistic side shouted as she jumped onto the table. First thing that popped in my head, Mad Hatter. **'Second of all, we, as in pacifist bitch and I, have discovered that we were sent to the Naruto-verse, where Naruto is not an epic, bad-ass anime, but a reality!'**

My pacifist side pulled my sadistic side off the table, rubbed her temples,and began to speak. _'Now May, I'm not really in the mood for starting a conversation. As much as I'm certain you have a billion questions, I really feel like dying at the moment. So, for more convenience, I'm going to give you a journal that should have all the answers to your questions, and all the information of the Naruto-verse that ever was, which includes profiles, jutsus, ect. When you wake up, which should be about now, the journal will transport itself with you, and will be under your back when you wake up.'_

As soon as my pacifist side finished talking, I, and the journal, began glowing, as. I realized I was waking up.

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I painfully squeezed my eyes shut even more. That damn Ten-Tails gave me an actual fucking migraine! That, and the journal under me was giving me a back ache.

I opened my eyes, to be greeted with a light, a couple of feet over my head. I blinked a few times to make sure I was okay, and then sat up. I felt pressure on my arm, the one that was shot, and saw a bandage covering my wound. I turned around and saw that the journal was where my back would be laying, so I picked it up.

Before I opened it however, I actually looked at the room. Cherry wood tiles and wooden walls, redwood dresser, redwood bureau/desk, low cherry wood table and pale green cushions, redwood chair, redwood bookshelves, a lot of things were wood! Even the frame of the bed I was on was made of redwood. The sheets of the bed were army green with white flowery designs, plus lime pillows, and when I say there were a lot of pillows, there were a lot of pillows! The bed was twin sized, but it still had a lot of pillows. There were cherry wood shutters on the one window in the room, with an embroidery drape covering half of the window. The bureau/desk had some books on it, multiple paintbrushes and inks, and a small flower vase. The bookshelves had books, weapons, antiques, decorations lining the shelves, although sometimes, the shelves were empty. The shelves made a half square around the low table, in the corner of the was a towel on the chair, and a tray of food on the bedside table, also redwood. All in all, the room was fairly sized.

I ate some bread that was on the tray, and got up. I looked around the room, to get a better look at it. I saw that the bed had drawers on the bottom, and that in between the bookshelves were poles, connecting the shelves, where you could probably hang something. Here was a caramel-colored carpet in front of the bed, and small designs of a forest carved into the wall. The carving were so shallow that I almost missed them.

I tiptoed to the birch wood door, which stood out in the room, and carefully creaked it open. I moved my head from side to side, and them stepped out, the journal clutched closely to my chest. The hallways were regal and fancy, but I was still cautious, after all, I had no idea where I was.

* * *

After a while of wandering around, I concluded that I was lost. I walked around some more, and then, finally gave up.

I turned around, only to bump into a little boy who was probably my age, holding the hand of a boy, who was probably one year old, a year younger than the boy and I.

"Who are you?" He asked, shielding his brother, at least I think they're brothers, from me. Man, he must have a brother complex, like Itachi or Madara.

Sheepishly, I rubbed the back of my neck and replied. "My name's May, and I really don't know where I am." The dark haired boy took my hand, and pulled me, along with the little boy, towards some random place that I didn't know.

After a house of what seemed like a billion hallways and doors, we came to big double doors that seemed to be made of bamboo. The boy pushed one of the doors opens to reveal a man, who looked like the Sage of Six Paths! On the outside I looked calm and normal, but in the inside, my heart was pounding like crazy.

"Ah, Indra, I see you've found our guest," Hagoromo Otsutsuki, who is usually dubbed the Sage of Six Paths, said with a smile. "Why don't you take Asura and go play in the garden?"

Indra nodded, and took his younger brother to the direction of the garden. Hagoromo then turned to me, and his soft expression became serious. "Tell me girl, who are you?" He said, in complete seriousness mode. It scared me, a lot, because he seemed so nice when he talked to his son, but now he seemed deadly.

"I'm May," was my simple short answer.

"We'll then, May, do you have any family?" Hagoromo asked, still seeming serious, but with a softer tone, since I was only two years old. To reply to him, I simply shook my head, seeing how I'm probably the only person from my world that came here. That is, the only person I know.

Then, he smiled, and asked, "Would you like to join my family?"

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**Nene: There! Now, I made a mistake in my character, she's supposed to have orange hair, not black hair. You see, the black hair was supposed to be the sadistic inner, to represent the Uchiha clan. The pacifist inner represents the Senju clan, since she has a rivalry with the sadistic ego, and because Senju are peaceful.**

**Deidara: So to put it short, your OC now has orange hair, instead of the black hair you accidentally gave her,un?**

**Nene: Yup.**

**Tobi: Tobi will so the review thing now! Review readers! Tobi says review, so review!**


	3. Training and Rooms

**"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted." -Mae West**

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**Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto**

**Dedicated to: Everyone who followed/favorited/reviewed me, you make me so happy.**

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**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_ (thinking only happens when perspective changes to another character besides main character)

"Talking"

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**~First person perspective~**

I blinked. Once, twice, and then I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't dreaming. The Sage of Six Paths was asking me! Me, a girl who didn't even belong in this universe, to join his family!

"So? What's your answer?" Hagoromo asked, looking at me curiously. I snapped out of my thoughts, and nodded my head eagerly, I was still too shocked to even talk. "Alright then, your room is right across the hall from my study," he said grabbing my tiny hand and leading me out of the room.

"Wait, you mean I woke up in a room just across from where you were, and I wandered around for nothing?" I asked in my high pitched voice.

The Sage of Six Paths just laughed, "Actually, the room you woke up in is in the opposite side of the compound. In fact it wasn't even a room, it was a cell." I looked at him, my eyes widened in shock.

"You mean the comfy and cozy room I was in, was really a prison cell?" I said. It was quite surprising, cause the bed was nice, I just didn't pay much attention to it because the Ten-Tails was being a bitch and that the journal underneath me, which was currently being held to my chest, gave me a back ache.

"Yeah, I put it in something I call a genjutsu," Hagoromo said, scratching the back of his head sheepishly with a lazy grin. Hm, when he was shown in the manga, he seemed so serious, didn't think he would act somewhat like Naruto. But then again, he's the father of the Uchiha and Senju clan's founders, so of course he would somewhat act like Hashirama and Madara, or Indra and Asura, either way he's the Uchiha and Senju clan combined.

We stopped in front of a bamboo door, and he turned to me seriously, "Are you aware that there is a powerful demon inside of you?" He asked. I nodded my head, surprising him. He spoke again, with a softer tone, "You are across from my study so I can watch you, understood? And I will also be training you on how to handle tailed beasts, how to manipulate chakra, how to calm the Ten-Tails, and other things necessary for your survival, you understand?" I grinned, then nodded. He smiled back at me and messed up my long hair, as he opened the door to where I would be spending most of my days in.

The walls of the room were light blue, the carpet a soft dark brown. In one corner of the room, there were two thin, but large, mattresses stacked on top of each other, but they had no comforter, blanket or pillow on them. Beside it was a long and low caramel table, with a candle, ink, paintbrushes, and paper already laid out on it. On the opposite side of the room, the wall that the door was on, there were three bookshelves and two dressers the same color as the low table. On the east side of the room were two windows with no curtains yet, a long shelf underneath the windows, and flower boxes outside of the windows. On the west side of the room was a bamboo sliding door, that was the closet, having many racks and poles in there, a blue cushioned stool in the center of the closet.

After looking around the large room, Hagoromo told me that I could decorate it tomorrow, and that he'd draw me a map of the compound by tomorrow as well, so it was best that I didn't wander around, and stayed in my room for the rest of the day.

* * *

I sat on my 'bed'. I was really bored, and it was surprisingly quiet- Wait. It's quiet, too quiet. Sadist?! Pacifist?! Where are you?!

**'We're right here bitch, don't have to get your panties in a twist,' **sadistic side greeted. It was still kinda hard for me to imagine my sadistic side saying that, since she looked so innocent when I first saw her.

_'Must you be so rude?'_ My pacifist side asked. I sighed in relief, they were both alive and acting normal.

**'Well, pacifist bitch, I'll have you know that it's that time of month,'** my sadistic side snapped back.

_'Okay, first of all, we're two, and second, May and I would also be on that time of month if you were on it,' _my pacifist replied to my sadistic side, and I could practically feel her smirking inside my head, while my sadistic side began to scream endless curses.

I sighed as their curses and screams died down, well, my sadistic side was the only one screaming and cursing anyway. I turned my head to the low table by my 'bed', where the journal was. I stared at it for a few seconds, until I grabbed it from the table and opened it.

I mentally cursed, with my pacifist side scolding me afterwards, because the writing on the book was small and I needed glasses. But, I'm in a new body, so that means I don't need glasses right? Because I have new eyes! I then squealed and jumped on the mattresses, before sitting back down and reading the journal.

* * *

I sighed in content as I looked at my newly designed room. My bed had a simple gray and brown leaf design, and a lot of black and white pillows covering the large bed. The desk beside me had more paintbrushes and different colored inks, as well as a new orange scented candle. One of my dressers contained nothing in it at all . The other dresser had some paintbrushes, inks, and paper. It also had katanas above the dresser, which were given to me from Indra, all of the other drawers being empty. My bookshelves already had books and scrolls, the journal my pacifist side gave me hidden in a case that looked like a really thick book. Though the books and scrolls hardly filled one shelf, my other shelves had a few things on it, like a crystal flower that I found in a storage room, and a stuffed bunny that my new grandmother gave to me. The windows had light blue curtains with white embroidery, and my flower boxes had herbs and flowers already replanted into them. The shelves underneath the windows were empty, except for a couple flower pots and cases on it.

My closet had a lot of kimonos in it. Aside from kimonos, there were sundresses and nightgowns. There was now a drawer in the corner of the closet, holding my underwear. I had a body length mirror near a shelf in the closet that held accessories and toiletries, like a hairbrush and shampoo. The rest of my closet had shorts, leggings, tops, basically training outfits.

I changed into a black sundress, and exited the room. The map that Hagoromo gave me in my hand, I went off to look for a certain storage room.

* * *

After my endless search, I finally found it. The storage room right by the training room. And, being right next to the training room meant that the storage room contained certain things. I searched through the knives, swords, ect. Finally, I found what I was looking for, weights. To my usprise, they kinda reminded me of the leg warmers Guy and Lee wore. The only difference was that there were matching arm warmers, and they were black.

I put them on, but then regretted it,because they were really, really heavy.

**'Ya know? I think those look epic on us,'** my sadistic side complimented. I have to admit though, they looked nice on us, err me, uhh, ya know what, I'm just gonna stick with referring to myself as us whenever I talk in my head.

_'I'm surprised that they were our size, seeing how we are two,' _my pacifist side quipped. I agreed. It was surprising to find one my size, but who cared. Now I could train every day by simply walking! Though, they are really heavy, I'll get used to it eventually, hopefully.

* * *

I walked around the compound, looking for my room on the map. The weights disguised as leg and arm warmers made me slower than before, much slower, but I was slowly, ever so slightly, getting used to them.

Finally, I found my room, and crashed on my bed. After laying there for a few minutes, I got up and went to my bookshelves. I went to the only bookshelf containing books, and grabbed a really thick book. I undid the leather binding on it, and opened it to reveal 'The Journal of Naruto-verse Knowledge' as my sadistic side dubbed it. I grabbed the journal and sat down on my bed again. I opened to where I had left off, on page 50, controlling chakra. The book contained a lot of information, so the book was quite thick. Actually, my pacifist side had told me that she was preparing more books, seeing how the journal only contained information on E and D level jutsus; like Body Flicker Technique (Shunshin no Jutsu) and Hidden Mist Technique (Kirigakure no Jutsu), even though they were used by high leveled Shinobi in Naruto, they were actually quite simple, and would be very good if mastered; chakra control; Shinobi rules; hidden villages and maps; and character profiles, major character profiles, the minor ones were going to be in another book.

I scanned on chakra molding and control, and, with a couple of comments from my alter egos, decided to test out the tree climbing exercise. Well, it wasn't really tree climbing since I was going to do it in my room, but, you get the point. I took off my weights, and concentrated on calming the Ten-Tails' chakra, and with a little help from my two personalities, was able to walk a foot up the wall before I fell down.

**'That was seriously pathetic. I mean, I know I'm supposed to be hyper and happy, but that was seriously pathetic,'** my sadistic side said as I got back up.

_'Well, at least we made it a foot up the wall,'_ my pacifist side pointed out.

I sighed and tried again and again and again.

* * *

It was two months since I had moved in with the Sage of Six Path's family, and I had finally mastered chakra control. Hagoromo was training me with his sons, and I was doing pretty well. I could control the Ten-Tails better, and I was becoming more advanced in jutsus. My pacifist side had finished three more books on the Naruto-verse. All she had to finish were Hiden (secret traditions), Juinjutsu (cursed seal techniques), Kinjutsu (forbidden techniques), Reincarnation Ninjutsu, Senjutsu (Sage techniques), Tailed Beast skills, and Kekkai Genkais. All of those topics could fit in about, five more books, since they were relatively big topics.

I had bonded more with Indra and Asura, and they decided to dub me 'May-nee'. My grandmother, Kaguya, was traveling around, watching over the people to make sure that the peace of our era was not disturbed. My uncle, who I don't remember the name of, already had twins, a girl and a boy, and he was starting a clan, the Hyuga clan. Yup, I can see it now, me annoying the hell out of Hiashi and Hizashi. My dad travels too, preaching about ninshu, so my brothers and I were usually with the Hyuga' yes, I now call the Sage of Six Paths my dad, because he basically is.

Anyways, I was wandering around, looking for a certain door, hidden in a powerful genjutsu, that only my father and I knew how to unlock. The door led to another realm, where the tailed beasts were. My father and I took care of them, and the tailed beasts thought of me as their sister, although at first they were a little scared since I had the Jubi inside of me. I had introduced them to my father, and together, we helped them train as well.

After a few minutes, I found the door, unlocked the door hidden in a genjutsu, and entered the domain of the tailed beasts. I was greeted with a little earthquake, signaling that my tailed friends were coming. When they came, we began training almost immediately, and by the time we were done five hours later, I was exhausted.

* * *

I sat at my place at the table, next to Asura and Hagoromo, Indra in front of me. We silently ate, until Indra asked a question.

"Where do you go when you train May-nee?" Indra asked. It was an innocent question, but I nearly choked on my for when he asked it.

**'Shit! Shit! Shit! What do we say?!'** My sadistic side said, panicking.

My father noticed my moment of stress, and answered for me, "May-chan goes and does girl things, Indra, the only time she trains is with you and Asura."

I sighed in relief, thinking that it was all over. That is, until Indra asked another question "What girl things?"

This time, with my pacifist side guiding my words I answered, "I press flowers and tend to herbs. Occasionally, I read and paint." I let out a breath I didn't even notice I was holding, as Indra smiled contently with the answer. And to think this sweet boy would be so serious in the future.

* * *

**Nene: Pretty much pointless chapter, but was needed to fill up on family, the journal, and training.**

**Tobi: Tobi liked it Nene-chan!**

**Nene: Thank you so much Tobi! Now you get a hug!**

**Deidara: How come I don't get a hug, un?**

**Nene: Because you're always mean to Tobi!**

**Tobi: Yes Deidara-sempai! You should learn to be a good boy like Tobi!**

**Deidara: Fine, fine, I'll say the announcement, un. Review, un.**


	4. Successor and Immortality

**"Life is hard, after all, it kills you." -Katharine Hepburn**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I will never own Naruto, ever.**

**Dedicated to: Anyone who's birthday is in May!**

* * *

**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_ (thinking only happens when perspective changes to another character besides main character)

"Talking"

* * *

**~First Person Perspective-**

"Go fish, got any queens?"

"Yup, here you go Nee-san," I eagerly grabbed the card from my ototo, Asura.

Asura was now forty, making Indra and I, forty one. He had found a wife at twenty six, thanks to me screaming to him and Indra how I never had a sister, which was true because in my old universe, I was an only child. His wife also had another baby coming (he already had a thirteen year old son) which I was excited about, because I really wanted another niece/nephew from Asura. Indra married at twenty five, and already gave me the epic and adorable gift of a nephew, who was currently fourteen, and very spoiled thanks to me.

_'You might have spoiled him, but he's basically a mini-Indra'_ my pacifist side commented.

Ah yes, I remember when my nephew said his first 'hn', I strangled Indra. Hehe.

My sadistic side seemed to be running slow, because she wasn't on the same subject as my pacifist and I, she was on the subject of 'Go Fish'.

**'I can't believe that you actually got so fucking bored that you resulted to playing this fucking game,'**my sadistic side said. I could picture the irritated look on her face, since I saw her and my pacifist side in my sleep, meaning I had no rest. Now, don't point out the obvious, I did sleep, and my body did get rest, it was just that my mind, and spirit never had the sweet blessing of sleep since I became the jinchuriki of the Ten-Tails. I was either woken up and thrown into my mind-scape, because my sadistic side was bored, or my pacifist side and Ten-Tails were arguing, which was constant.

"I can't believe you guys got so bored that you resulted to playing that game," my other ototo, Indra said, imitating what my sadistic said, without the cusses of course. Indra was younger than me by one month, and I soaked that all up, and teased him about it.

I turned around at Indra and stuck my tongue out at him, "Deal with it. What did the game ever do to you, ototo?" I said teasing him.

Indra simply glared at me as a response. Then, he opened his mouth and said, "Tou-sama wishes for us three to be in his presence." I sighed, it was time, the dreaded time when all hell would break lose. The time that the Sage of Six Paths would choose his successor, and unknowingly start a war. The day that the butterfly effect of the Naruto-verse, would begin. And I was the only one who knew how to stop it, where to stop it, and when to stop it. Of course, I had plenty of opportunities to stop the war from happening, but I already had a mastermind plan that would kill less people, and save more people.

_'Don't forget that our little friends will drift apart from each other,'_ my pacifist side said.

**'Don't remind me about it, pacifist bitch! Damn it! I don't want them to die!'** My sadistic side said, she was having a bipolar moment, bawling in the corner of my mind, next to the Ten-Tails.

_'Sigh, they're not going to die, they're just going to grow up and hate each other's guts,'_ my pacifist side explained to my sadistic side as she patted her back.

And if you're wondering who our little friends are, they're not really little. In fact, they're huge, like, titanic huge. Did you figure out who they were? If you guessed the tailed beasts then you guessed correct!

* * *

We all arrived at our father's office. Actually, we went through his office, and to the entrance of the garden that was connected to his office.

Hagoromo was waiting outside, looking old, and dying, showing that he would have to choose a successor soon. He was wrinkly, and looked like he was going to drop dead on the ground, considering he was eighty already. However, instead of Hagoromo creating the tailed beasts, I created them. Well, sorta. I took most of the chakra of the Ten-Tails and made that into the tailed beasts. There was hardly an ounce of chakra left in the tree-turned-monster, but then I had my alter egos imagine up chakra, and they were able to duplicate the Ten-Tails' chakra, to make sure it doesn't die, a long with me.

Indra and Asura stood across from each other, in front of our father, and I was sitting with my legs criss-crossed, in between them. My brothers already knew what was happening today, they knew someone would be chosen as a successor, ending their rivalry with a simple choice made by our father.

"Today, I will choose my successor," our father began, Indra and Asura glared at each other. "As you know, May can not be my successor because she was adopted," Hagoromo said. Indra and Asura's expressions didn't change, their glaring remained constant. Then, Hagoromo opened his mouth, and,

"My successor," Indra and Asura's glaring got more intense,

"Shall be," The glaring intensified, and I could feel myself twitching like crazy, getting ready to jump in front of Indra and stop him from killing his brother once the choice was made.

"Asura." And that's when all he'll broke loose.

Indra screamed "What? Why does Asura get to be your successor? I am older and more experienced! I am much more fit as your successor!" He leaped with a katana, charging at Asura, and Asura did the same. They were about to clash, when they were stopped by Hagoromo. He had put himself in between his sons' own attacks to stop them from killing themselves.

Asura and Indra's swords lowered, and Asura stared in horror. Indra glared at our father's dying body and said, "This is not over, ototo, this means war," before leaving in a screen of smoke from the Body Flicker technique.

Asura dropped to the ground, unconscious from seeing our father's dead body, and I made a clone bring him into his room, so he could recover.

I got up and left to go finish the peaceful times of the Sage of Six Paths era, it would end either way, I just had to do what Hagoromo should've done, because he wasn't supposed to die, but he did, leaving me to finish the job. So, with the body of the Sage of Six Paths, I walked farther into the garden.

* * *

I walked through the garden until I came to the rock with the one of the world's most powerful genjutsu on it, and various complex ninjutsu traps around it. The thing is, though, to get in was one of the easiest things in the world. You simply had to walk on the path that led to the rock, and knock on the rock.

Anyways, I got in, and ended up in the safe asylum of the tailed beasts. Well, it wouldn't be safe now, because the tailed beasts were going to destroy it. Though, they looked young, they were actually thirty nine years old already!

**'I don't want to fucking break their hearts! They're too fucking adorable! I can't destroy their fucking innocence!'** My sadistic side bawled, as she kept on punching a life sized plushy of Madara. My pacifist consoled her, rubbing her back, as she silently cried into a life sized Hashirama plushy, even she couldn't control her tears.

Soon enough, I began crying as well, as I dropped to the ground with my adoptive father's body, sobbing into my hands. The tailed beasts all surrounded me, wondering what could've made their friend cry, and why the body of their father figure was on the ground.

**'I'll tell you what made your best friend fucking cry! We have to fucking end peace!'** My sadistic side screamed in my mind.

Kyubbi broke me out of my thoughts, when he tried to console me, by nudging me with his nose. I looked up to see the confused looks of the tailed beasts, and I showed them the letter that Hagoromo had in his hands. I had not read it myself, so I began to read.

"Dear May,

I know about your heritage. I know that you do not reign from this world, and that you know of the events that will happen later on in life. It has come to my attention that I will die, and that a war will likely start once I am dead, however, I want you to relay this message to our friends, the tailed beasts.

'You are all connected to each other, no matter how far you are, or how much your hate for each other burns. May is your guardian now, and will guide you when she can. And Kurama, it does not matter how many tails you have, you are all equally powerful, and together, you are the most powerful thing in existence. Grow with love and power, and one day, you will all bring peace to the constantly wearing world.'

-Hagoromo Otsutsuki"

I finished the letter, tears staining the paper. My friends, the tailed beasts, were rampaging around, chaotic because of the loss of their friend and father figure. The temple and asylum in which they resided in, was falling apart, as they bickered and cried.

Suddenly, they began fighting each other, and I was still sitting their, crying and crying. Saiken, the Six-Tails, quickly grabbed me, and transported Hagoromo and I to a safer place, along with placing Asura in his house with his family, and then left to join the fight. I guess he had a feeling that the compound of the Sage of Six Paths was going to get destroyed.

_'He really is selfless, prideful, but selfless._' Was what my pacifist side said before I blacked out on the bed I was placed in.

* * *

I woke up with a jolt. I looked around, my head looking back and forth. I knew that I blacked out, bit I didn't know how long I had been out. I got up and looked in the mirror that was in the room of the tree house that Saiken had put me in. However, I immediately fell, and I looked up to see that I was really pale, and really old. My hair was whiter than snow, and I seemed to be a hundred years old.

**'What! We slept for sixty fucking years!'** My sadistic side screamed. I chose to ignore her though, and I looked down into my hands to stare at all of the journals my pacifist side made, and then letter Hagoromo wrote.

I stared at the letter, reading the last part that I had not read.

"By the way, May, I have a parting gift for you. Implant my Rinnegan eyes into yours, and unlock the jutsu on the bottom of the letter, it'll give you immortality. This way you can watch over the tailed beasts."

My eyes widened, as I finished reading the letter aloud. I looked at Hagoromo's decaying body, it was already bones. However, his eyes weren't in the sockets of the skull, so I panicked, and looked around, until I noticed a little pouch that was in the bony hands of his skeleton. I opened up the pouch, to see the Rinnegan eyes of Hagormo Otsutsuki.

_'I wouldn't be surprised if those eyes were immortal_,' my pacifist side commented as I bent down and picked it up. I looked at my reflection, and gulped, implanting these eyes and unlocking the jutsu for immortality would take a while.

* * *

I stared at my reflection, really astonished. I mean, you would too if you made yourself go from a hundred year old hag to a thirteen year old girl. You would be even more freaked out if your eyes were the epic Rinnegan eyes, because let's face it, those are the ultimate eyes. I had used Tsunade's special Transformation Technique to make me look much younger than I really was.

My skin was still pale, but more reasonable then it was five hours ago. My hair was a fiery auburn again, was braided, and had long and short bangs framing my face. My lips were no longer chapped and were peach colored once more. No wrinkles stood out on my face, and all of my scars were healed. All of my face was the same as how I used to look when I was younger, much younger, except for the Rinnegan eyes that shown with power on my alabaster skin.

My body was average, normal legs, height, chest, all normal. Except for the intricate seal on my stomach. It was the only abnormal thing about me other than my eyes.

When I was pushed into my mind-scape by my sadistic side a few minutes ago, I was able to see how my alter egos looked like now.

My sadistic side had hair that resembled Madara's. She wore a strapless pink sundress, but not as bright as that fucking bright annoying one she used to wear. She had a huge scythe strapped on her back, with a big bow adorning it to make the dangerous weapon seem more comical. She was barefoot, with a long gold ankle spiraling up to calf. Her eyes were the eyes of the Uchiha clan, and they shone with pride, a lot of pride.

My pacifist side had hair that resembled Hashirama's. She wore a tight, long sleeved, green blouse that ended at her navel, and black pants that flared out and resembled a skirt. She had two fans on her back, strapped onto her by a caramel colored belt. Her face was completely normal, nothing weird about it, except for the diamond seal on her head. However, she didn't seem normal at all when she lifted up one of the pant sleeves to reveal bandages and vials of poison.

Back to the present, the more I think about it, the more I think you guys are the female representatives of the Uchiha and Senju clan.

**'You're figuring that out now, bitch?' **My sadistic side retorted. I could hear my pacifist side sigh, as I felt her pull my sadistic side away.

I stared out the window in silence. With my journals in a scroll, a staff on my back, and a black sundress on, I jumped out the window, to find my new victims, err, new friends, Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha.

* * *

**Nene: So now it's time for the Uchiha and Senju War era to begin!**

**Deidara: Why do you sound so happy, un?**

**Tobi: Because Nene-chan got reviews!**

**Nene: Yes, Tobi, that's correct. And silly hater, you get a hug too! -cyber hug-**

**Deidara: How many chapters are going to be in this era anyway?**

**Nene: I don't know. Ten, maybe? Tobi, just do the announcements.**

**Tobi: Hai, Nene-chan! Review people who are nice enough to read this!**


	5. Searching and Finding

**"Roses are red, and violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I." -Oscar Levant**

* * *

**Disclaimer: The day I own Naruto is the day I become the ruler of the world.**

**Dedicated to: The epic panda pillow I got for my birthday. ^~^**

* * *

**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_ (thinking only happens when perspective changes to another character besides main character)

"Talking"

* * *

**~First Person Perspective~**

I ran through the trees, looking for nothing in particular. Well, actually, I was looking for answers, but my alter egos could provide those for me. Oh yeah, and I was also looking for Madara and Hashirama, but the search for those two would continue later, I seriously needed to exercise my body, since I've been asleep for sixty years.

Which reminds me, pacifist, can you explain to me why I fell asleep for sixty years, or something?

_'Sure, May. You see, we were actually hit by numerous tailed beast attacks. We were able to withstand it because the Ten-Tails, sadist, and I were keeping you alive. Also because your body wouldn't function correctly from the shock of Hagoromo's death, that you were able to hold off until you read the letter. The shock, and the power of the attacks thrown at you, pushed you into a coma,' _my pacifist side explained. I nodded my head, and if you were some random stranger, you would think I was crazy with my expression changing a lot and talking to what seemed like no one, but if you were Sakura Haruno, you would understand what I go through.

**'Harr, harr, I want to know why our cuddly little friends attacked each other. I mean, all we did was read a letter. About their father figure's death,**' my sadistic side commented, followed with an awkward silence. **'Damn it! Pacifist bitch, just tell me why they attacked each other!'**

_'Okay. Well, when one of the tailed beasts accidentally hit us with one of their attacks, so the others got mad and attacked. Then they accidentally hit each other, and with everyone throwing attacks at each other, it resulted to a full out battle,'_ my pacifist side said after my sadistic side's outburst.

Aww, they cared enough about me to attack each other, I must be really important! When I finished my squealing, I could basically feel my alter egos sweat drop.

* * *

I sighed as I ran through the endless forest. Seriously! How long can one fucking forest be! I have been running around for three years now!

**'The roots! The roots are out to get us!**' My sadistic side awkwardly yelled.

Anyways, I continued to run, until I felt something trip my feet, and I felt myself losing balance. Darn it, I should've listened to my sadistic side, cause the roots of the big tree behind me were the ones that made me fly up, and lose balance.

Well, I continued to fall, and fall, and fall, and fall, until I finally landed face first, in the dirt, interrupting the conversation of what looked like, two twelve year old boys.

So, I did the most natural thing any normal person would do. I got up and did the 'good guy' pose, claiming I was alright. I saw the looks on the boys faces. One of the boys was amazed by my recovery, and a hint of surprise was in his eyes, while the other was completely bewildered, but seemed interested, since I popped out of nowhere.

That was when I looked at their faces more closely. And me, being the mental girl I was, squealed in utter joy, and hugged the living day lights out of the two. I could feel my alter egos dancing around in my head. We accidentally found the guys we were purposely looking for.

_'Oh my gosh! I just remembered! We should troll Tobirama! I really don't like Tobirama, so we should mess with him!'_ My pacifist side screamed in joy. I blinked, so did my sadistic side. Then, my sadistic side began crying and hugging my pacifist side, screaming about how she had grown from a 'fucking goody two shoes' to a 'compatible bitch'.

Anyways, on the outside, I had already set down Madara and Hashirama, who were still confused. Then, Madara, being the 'I'm-way-too-prideful-of-my-clan-and-I-got-a-pole-shoved-up-my-ass' type of guy, decided to throw a billion weapons at me.

I dodged, of course, but those damn roots, which I'm pretty sure Hashirama were controlling, made me trip again, and when the roots blinded me together, I was certain that Hashirama was controlling the roots.

"Wahhh! You two are so mean! I just wanted to say hi and you try to kill me! What type of great-great-great-great-great-many great, grandnephews are you!" I screamed at them, pointing an accusing finger at their faces.

"Ya know, Uchiha? I know we're supposed to be fighting and all, but don't you think something's wrong with this chick?" Hashirama said backing away slowly from me, and going partly behind Madara.

Madara stared at me, and then he, being the I-must-know-everything-because-I'm-supposed-to-be-a-socially-retarded-Uchiha-prodigy he is, decided to yank my head up, and thus, having me look straight into his eyes.

Sadly, his Sharingan eyes were no match for Hagoromo's Rinnegan, and his genjutsu reflected off of my eyes and back to his. Five seconds later, he fell to the ground twitching.

"Ahh, are you okay, Uchiha?" Hashirama asked, poking him with a stick.

**'Can someone explain how he got such a fucking small stick in such a fucking huge forest!'** my sadistic side commented, as I released myself from the roots of Hashirama.

I walked up to Madara, and Hashirama, being the kind boy he is, decided to protect his 'likable enemy' from the 'mentally insane stranger'. And I, being the immortal girl with Rinnegan eyes, pushed him out of my way, as I sat near Madara.

I flicked his forehead with my glowing red hand, and yes, my chakra is red, and he grunted in annoyance, and then relief, showing that he was no longer in pain from his attack.

"Oi, Hashi-chan, help me carry the twerp, 'kay?" I asked. Hashirama was surprised I knew his name, but decided to let that go, to help me carry Madara to wherever I was going,

_'Tsk, tsk. It seems he is somewhat like us in elementary. He doesn't even know what 'stranger danger' is,'_ my pacifist side said, as she read some random book that popped into my mind.

**'Hey! It took us twenty years to finally understand what that was! And if you add that with the age it took is to figure it out in our former universe, it means it took us thirty five years to figure it out!'** My sadistic side retorted.

Outwardly, I sighed, as I tuned out my alter egos' bickering, and continued to the tree house I woke up in with Hashirama.

* * *

"So, you're saying that something will happen to our brothers?"

"Yes, Baka, she said that, like, fifty times already,"

"Alright, alright, stop bickering you two, I need to stick my head in a bucket of water," I said to my alter egos. Oh wait, I must've said that out loud, cause I think that Hashirama and Madara think I was talking to them, hehe.

**'No duh, bitch. This is why you should get more control of yourself!' **My sadistic side, kindly, commented. Note the sarcasm.

"Oh, I wasn't talking to you two, I was talking to two little birdies that love to torture me!" I said in a way too optimistic voice. In fact, I think I saw Madara twitch from the rolls of happiness flying off of me.

"Anyways, why are you telling us that we should watch our brothers? I see nothing wrong with Izuna," Madara commented.

"Yada, yada, yada. Just listen to what I said and I'll see you guys in, about, six years or so," I answered, confusing both of them. You see, in five hours, I had become there good friend, I think, since they eyed me suspiciously, a lot.

"Well, Maddie-chan, Hashi-chan, see you when you become clan heads!" I screamed at them, before I jumped out of the window of my tree house, and disappeared in a flurry of bubbles and rainbows.

It was time to find some little friends. But before that, I really need to get new weapons. And train. And figure out how to hide my Rinnegan eyes. And-

**'Yeah, yeah, we got a fucking lot to do!'**

* * *

**Nene: Ha! I answered questions, within the story!**

**Deidara: I thought you said the Madara and Hashirama arc thingy do was going to last a while, un.**

**Nene: Yes, this is just how they first meet each other. Eventually, they will meet again. But the next chapter will have no Madara or Hashirama, that will contain training and special little friends.**

**Tobi: But Nene-chan! When will Madara-sama and Hashirama-san reunite with you?**

**Nene: The chapter after the next chapter, of course.**

**Deidara: So, un? When does the main plot really begin, un?**

**Nene: Same chapter where May reunites with Hashirama and Madara. Now say the announcement.**

**Deidara: Fine, un. Review.**


	6. More Training and Outfits

**"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving." -Erma Bombeck**

* * *

**Disclaimer: Kishimoto can keep the anime, I'm not good at drawing faces anyway.**

**Dedicated to: Dragonblaze66, who has had the longest conversation with me on private messaging.**

* * *

**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_ (thinking only happens when perspective changes to another character besides main character)

"Talking"

* * *

**~First Person Perspective~**

I was wandering around, again. And after five seconds of continuous wandering, I concluded I was lost, again.

_'Why is it that we're always lost?'_ My pacifist side questioned. It was true, it took me two years to not get lost in Hagoromo's compound, five years in all to memorize the compound, and still I got lost, frequently, even when I was a grown woman I got lost in that maze I call a home. I was almost always lost when I visited my cousins and uncle, the Sage of Six Paths' brother, nephew, and niece. And I was at there compound for half of my childhood. Hyuga, Senju, and Uchiha people are weird, it's like they purposely make their homes a maze just to confuse guests and other family members.

Anyways...I was looking for the tailed beasts. I had to see them! Actually, let me rephrase that. I had to see them in order to live, because my sadistic side won't stop being a bitch.

**'Hey!'**

Ahem, as I was saying, my sadistic side keeps on complaining on how she misses them, so she won't stop crying into the Madara plushy, though most of the time, she punches it. Why is that plushy even in my mind?

**'I'll have you know that it's a great way to vent out feelings. That, and I'm supposed to represent the Uchiha clan or something, at least, that's what Nene-chan says,**' my sadistic side said back, in a know-it-all voice, and I could feel her crossing her arms and pouting in my mind.

Wait, who's Nene-chan? Wait a second, nooooooo! Don't tell me I have another voice in my mind! I can only handle three! I was barely even able to do anything sane when I had my first alter ego in my mind! In fact, I hardly even had control of myself when I had all of you guys in my mind! And I always had a fucking migraine!

_'Woah, calm down, May, I think sadist is just being delusional, because there is only three spirits in your mind, and I don't see nor hear another spirit here,_' my pacifist side consoled me as I began running again, hoping to get lucky and accidentally bump into one of my fluffy friends.

**'I'm not being delusional! Nene-chan is real!'**

Sigh, anyway, I'll just pretend that Nene-chan is just some fake little girl sadist made up. So, now to wande- Ahhhhhhh! What the hell! Why in the world did I just stab myself!

**'Nene-chan is having her revenge!'** My sadistic side said in a childish voice.

Wow, something is wrong with me. I'm schizophrenic, and one my alter egos is also schizophrenic.

* * *

An hour ago I had located one of my furry friends, Shukaku. However, for some odd reason that I don't know, he attacked me, his sister figure, and I had to flee. The last thing I heard him say, well growl, was that petty mortal humans were useless and should stay away from him. Hmph, foolish little One-Tails, I'm no longer mortal, I'm immortal. And I'm pretty sure you just offended Hagoromo, although I don't think he's human, mainly because his mom was considered a demon, and he was one of the first people to have chakra.

Well, anyway, CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY MY FURRY RACOON-CHAN ATTACKED ME!

**'Yeah, there's no fucking way that Shukaku-chan could not remember us! We always irritated him to no end, and he didn't kill us when he annoyed him! That means we're important!'** My sadistic side screamed, punching the Madara plushy. I would've made a comment about the doll, but I was kinda scared of 'Nene-chan' and what she would do to me.

_'My goodness, sadist, you already know why he attacked us! Our chakra changed! Remember? It used to be a violent red, now it's a calm red, much different then before. It became easier to control when the Rinnegan eyes were implanted into us' _my pacifist side said, and I heard a slap noise, which meant she was slapping sense into sadist.

Anyways, I should probably approach someone nicer and tamer, like Isobu, the three tails, or Matatabi, the two tails. Yeah, I think I'll visit Matatabi, he was always polite and respectful.

* * *

"Damn it! Is this what you became when you thought I died! I should've went to Saiken! At least he knew I didn't die from that Tailed Beast Ball!" I screamed as I ran from a flaming blue cat, the Two-Tails. I was kinda hoping he heard that part, but he didn't, so he continued to attack me. Apparently, people have been hunting him down more recently.

So, after finally escaping the bakeneko, I decided to just head back to my tree house. So let's see, five steps east, two left, one down-

_'Those aren't even real directions! You're just making those up!_' My pacifist side scolded me. I had a feeling she didn't want to get lost again, so I decided to just sit down, and think.

* * *

Still thinking. Still thinking. Still-

**'Ah! I can't take this fucking shit! Why don't we just make a new tree house here and train or something! Anything to get rid of this fucking boredom!'** My sadistic side screamed. Heh, apparently she can go crazy by boredom.

But I'm bored too sooooooo- let's build another tree house!

Let's see, I think I might be able to do wood release. Hmm, switch the use of water and earth back and forth. Yup, that seems hard. Well, it's worth a try, right? I mean, I don't have experience in this, so it's dangerous, and may possibly kill me or something, but it could be promising.

**'Don't worry we'll aid you with this, since neither me nor pacifist bitch feel like dying and letting the Shinju out. I mean, it might take most of our chakra combined just to figure out how it works, and let's not forget that it may take years to master before we can even make a normal tree, but it's worth a try, right?'** my sadistic side said. Wow, sadist, you're so reassuring. Sigh, let's just get this over with.

* * *

Five days, five fucking days of torture, and I was finally able to make a tree house. Sigh, now I just need to create the basic wooden furniture. And you know what? I bet you that it will take longer than it was to create an empty cube with holes in it. And that was what the tree house literally was, an empty cube with three holes drilled into it, one on the floor as a door, the other two as windows.

_'May, you should get back to work if you want to get that tree house done,_' my pacifist side scolded me.

Sigh, more fucking torture.

_'And no cussing!'_

* * *

Well, that was surprisingly easy. I mean, I thought making a bed, table, chair, and box would be hard, but it wasn't. However, sleeping on a wooden bed, with no comforter or blanket or pillow, when you had no sleep in ten days, was awful. What made it worse was that my sadistic and pacifist side decided that I should train some more! It's like everyone is out to get me or something!

_'You're only mad because Madara and Hashirama didn't think of you as a friend and actually thought you were delusional, and a spy, so they sent multiple assassins after you, since you knew information that should've been a secret to their clans,'_ my pacifist side said.

Well, of course I'm mad! I thought they trusted me! Humph, just wait until next year, the next time they'll meet, then they would learn I was telling the truth about something happening to their brothers.

**'Yada, yada, let's explore the Rinnegan!'**

Sigh, I guess I have to endure six years of painfully awesome training. Madara and Hashirama meet as clan heads in six years, right?

_'Yes they do, so that means you must get stronger. They will become clan heads at eighteen, meaning they will be very strong. You must be stronger since you are four years older than them,'_ my pacifist side reprimanded.

Well, it looks like I won't be having a good rest for a loooooooong time.

* * *

"You should wear something different!"

"Surprising to hear you say that, since you're the reason she wears those all the time,"

"Well, yeah, but now we can sorta be real people, and sundresses are my thing! She needs to have her own unique style!"

Sigh, did you guess who the people bickering are? Yup, they're my alter egos. How? Well, I found a way to transport them out of my body and into a shadow clone, they just henge into how they would look like in my head, and done, you have yourself two crazy alter egos arguing in front of you.

Currently, they were arguing about my outfit. They feel that I need a new 'look', so they decided to tie me to a chair as they magically make clothes pop out of thin air. Apparently, their ability to create anything in my mind also works outside of my mind. So, here I was, tied to a chair, while my alter egos throw outfits at me.

"Aha! I have the perfect idea of what she should wear!" My pacifist side exclaimed, grabbing clothes from nowhere and trying to pair them together.

"It better not be one of those fucking bandage outfits you wear!" Guess who that was.

Yup, my pacifist side wore an outfit similar to Kurenai. Except she had bandages over her eyes, covering her legs, and covering half of her arms. And she had blood leaking out of her, so the outfit always had a blood red stain on it. Great job, pacifist, you managed to make yourself look like a serial killer thanks to the scars and cuts on you, the blood staining your dress, and the evil smile you always wear on your face. The only thing peaceful and tame about her is her hair and weapons. Pacifist's hair were four long pigtails, that were really thick, and reached the end of her back, unlike Temari's spiky ones. She didn't have bangs so nothing covered her Strength of a Hundred seal. Her weapons were a green fan and umbrella, with poison needles and vials hidden everywhere.

My sadistic side on the other hand, was much more innocent. Pale, unscathed skin, and a long pink sundress adorned her tiny body. Her voice remained high-pitched, much to her disappointment, and she could change her Sharingan eyes to innocent looking obsidian eyes. However, her hair and weapon kinda scared me. Her hair was put into multiple, uneven ponytails, all spiky and messy, it was like Madara's hair, but it had red highlights, and was tied and sectioned by ribbons. Her weapon, was a small scythe, with a long chain attached to it, the chain winding up her arm. Yup, that brings the innocent look down a notch.

Anyways, my pacifist side threw clothes at me and ordered me to change. Why the new look? Because I was twenty two and had to, and I literally mean it, randomly appear in the soon to be Konoha while Hashirama and Madara finish the peace treaty. And I plan on entering with a dynamic kick to Tobirama's face. Well, actually, my pacifist side will take over my body and do a dynamic kick to his face, because for some reason she really hates him. Like, loathes him, with a passion. Anyway, my sadistic side and pacifist side surprisingly agreed on something, and decided to change my look.

* * *

I ran through the trees, my newly cut short, choppy orange hair flying in the wind. I wore a ying-yang styled kimono, that ended at my thighs. I nearly screamed in rage when my pacifist side told me to put it on, but then she threw a pair of black spandex shorts at me. Thankfully, it ended at my knees. I used genjutsu to hide my Rinnegan eyes with normal purple. I was barefoot, as always, and I had a silver staff on my back, one end was a scythe, the other end swirled, to represent the Rinnegan eyes, and to help me in performing ninjutsu. I managed to create hundred pound weights out of wood, which was extremely hard because I molded them into two spiraling anklets, and two thin, yet indestructible, bracelets.

_'Yay! We get to kick Tobirama and after that, we get to hug Fluffy-chan again!_' My pacifist side and sadistic side exclaimed in joy. My alter egos had gone back in my head, and were impatient, because we knew, that either the Uchiha or Senju clan had Kurama, and we would hug the living day lights out of the Nine-Tailed fox once we saw him.

I sighed in relief, as a certain meeting room came into view. I was going to scare the hell out of my adopted brothers' descendants.

* * *

**Nene: I edited some chapters, so now, Hagoromo's brother is alive, and is the Hyuga's ancestor.**

**Deidara: So how long so you think the Madara and Hashirama era will last, un?**

**Tobi: Nene-chan says it will be five chapters, eight if you count this one and the previous two!**

**Deidara: No one asked you, un!**

**Nene: Now, now, Deidara, be nice.**

**Deidara: Fine, un.**

**Tobi: Oh! Oh! Tobi wants to know why Sadistic-chan mentioned Nene-chan!**

**Nene: Because I basically made sadist and pacifist from my personality, I just split it in two.**

**Tobi: Okay! Will Tobi do the announcement now?**

**Nene: Yes, Tobi.**

**Tobi: Yay! Nene-chan would like it if you reviewed!**


	7. Dyanmic Kicks and A Princess

**"Stupidity is the talent of misconception." -Edgar Allen Poe**

* * *

**Disclaimer: Ha! Me own Naruto! In my dreams!**

**Dedicated to: My crush, you're so adorable I could hug you to death!**

* * *

**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_ (thinking only happens when perspective changes to another character besides main character)

"Talking"

* * *

**~First Person Perspective~**

I ran slower as I saw Uchiha and Senju clansmen walk into the tent together, glaring at each other. Their were also children walking in, some frightened by the opposite clan, others glaring at the opposite clan. Women walked in front of the children, trying to shield them as they also glared at each other. All the glaring made me twitch, a lot. Thankfully, however, some people were sending warm smiles to each other.

As soon as I saw that everyone in each clan had entered the really big tent, I slowly stepped farther from the tent, to prepare for my dynamic entrance. I could feel my pacifist side take control of my body, and I was transported into my mind-scape, to see my sadistic side in a folding chair, wearing 3-D glasses, and eating popcorn. Beside her was another folding chair, with a set of 3-D glasses and bucket of popcorn on top of it as well. So, I sat in the chair, put the glasses on, and let the movie begin.

Pacifist did some basic stretches, and then cloaked our chakra. With our four years of training, I figured out how to silence our steps, something we weren't able to do when we were in the Sage of Six Paths era, making them so frail, quick, and dainty, that the best Inuzuka wouldn't be able to hear it. With a small amount of chakra focused on my feet, she made a dash for the tent.

As we neared the tent, we could hear a discussion going on. Pacifist added more chakra to my right leg, my kicking leg, and got ready for the kick to Tobirama's face. Oh how she was enjoying it. Much more than sadist, who was at the edge of her seat, unconsciously stuffing popcorn into her mouth. I, on the other hand, was getting ready to be quickly switched back to my physical state, because once the kick was done, pacifist would pop back in, and I would pop back out.

We were an inch from the entrance of the tent, where we could see Hashirama and Madara shaking hands, sealing their agreement of peace.

We hardly even saw the clan heads shake hands because we zoomed through the tent and yelled "DYNAMIC KICK!" Hitting Tobirama square in the face.

Almost immediately, I felt myself take control once again, and looked around to see everyone staring at me like I was crazy, and both clans could clearly tell that I was from neither clan, because I had no clan symbol on me, and because my hair was a very bright orange, a hair color that neither clan had. And when I say very bright, I mean the same amount of brightness as sadist's former fucking pink dress. Not that I have a problem with my hair's brightness, I just hate bright pinks, that is, unless you're Sakura Haruno, cause then you actually make the fucking bright pink shade nice and pretty.

Soooo, anyway, everyone went into a defensive stance. When the clan heads turned around, they both pointed an accusing finger at me.

"You! How are you even alive!" They said at the same time, except Hashirama's was more of a yell, and Madara's was more of a growl.

"When you left Madara and I both agreed on sending assassins after you, and they were the best! One of them even came back with your head!" Hashirama said, having roots rise from the ground, so they could cool around me.

"Hmph, you guys are so mean. I drop by to say hello after six years and you guys try to kill me! What type of great-great-great-great-great-many great grandnephews are you! Not to mention you're stupid too! That was wood! I thought you would be able to tell Hashi-chan! You're great-great-great-great-many great grandfathers would be greatly disappointed in both of you!" I scolded as I avoided the roots trying to choke me to death and the weapons thrown at me.

"You're delusional," Madara simply said, as the roots finally caught me, and kept me bound together. He and Hashirama walked over to me.

"I'm not delusional, I'm special. Something happened to both of your brothers, right?" I said, a sly smile appearing on my face. They stared back at me in shock, realizing I was telling the truth all those years ago. A year after I had talked to them, their brothers did meet, and ended up attacking each other, ending their friendship, ya know, until now.

The clans looked at our conversation in curiosity. I had met their leaders, and known something happened to their brothers. Not to mention I was the girl that some of them were sent out to kill. Yup, that certainly made the room much better when they all gave off a hostile aura to me. So much hospitality.

"How did you know that was going to happen? And how did you know some of our clans jutsus and plans?" Hashirama said, tightening the roots coiled around my body.

"Sheesh, don't you have any manners? I just wanted to visit," I said. Well, actually, that was a lie. I planned on staying in Konoha, until the time is right. Of course, that would mean I'd have to die a couple times, to not raise suspicion.

"Why are you really here?" Madara said, pressing a kunai to my neck.

"Sigh, I kinda wanted to discuss to you guys about making a village, and you know, get more clans to join your alliance, but I can just leave," I said, easily ripping the roots from me as I walked to the exit of the tent.

And of course that got their attention. I actually did know some of the clan heads, and even made deals and trades with them. I met the Hyuga clan during my travel to the Uchiha and Senju clans, I had also met the Inuzuka and Nara. I became a frequent visitor to Whirlpool country, eventually becoming their princess' sister. Not really, they didn't adopt me, they just made me a lady, and their ambassador. So yeah, I had a lot of contacts and supporters. And boy, if Hashirama and Madara were to let a link to many clans go, and an entire country, then they had a smaller chance of creating a village.

So, they did what they thought was necessary, knock me out.

**'Well ain't that a fucking nice way to tell the best friend of your future wife that you want to be introduced to her, Hashirama,'** my sadistic side said, before I blacked out.

* * *

I woke up to meet the eyes of the Uchiha clan.

"It won't work on her," the Uchiha guy said when he noticed my wide eyes staring right at him, but his dojutsu not taking affect on me.

"Well, then maybe your eyes aren't as powerful as you boast," a Senju man said, glaring at the Uchiha. Then, they began a glaring contest, which caused me to twitch uncontrollably.

**'Man, aren't they so fucking smart, they don't even notice were not so stealthily leaving,' **my sadistic side commented as I untied the ropes around me. They continued their glare contest, until they heard the door close, looking at the chair I was in, only to find loose ropes surrounding it. Heh, they would surely freak out when their leaders learned I escaped. Anyways, I wandered around what seemed to be, the Senju compound. Man, I knew this place like the back of my hand, unlike Hagoromo's or the Hyuga's, this one, I never got lost in.

* * *

**'What the fuck is it with us and getting lost?!' **My sadistic side screamed as we got lost, again. Though I had to agree with her, we were lost, a lot. Damn my many great grandnephews and nieces! You just had to renovate the place and turn it into a maze! This was the only place I didn't get lost in, and now, because my many great grandnephews and nieces decided to fuck up the place, there was no compound that I didn't get lost in!

Sighing, I activated a seal on my arm, making the seal glow. Somewhere, another person would be seeing the seal glow, and the seal would act like a compass and guide that someone to a certain location. And because I have thoroughly planned this out, I made a little lounge, made out of wood, so the someone who had the seal glow when I activated it, would be comfortable until I got there.

Anyway, I just did what I thought was necessary, kick a wall. Yeah, you read that right, I kicked a wall. Plus, why go through a maze of hallways looking for someone, when you can just make your own pathway, and gain the attention of that someone?

And you know what? Kicking the wall actually worked, because it just happened to be that Hashirama, Madara, and other important Uchiha and Senju clansmen, were in the room behind the wall I kicked.

"Ahem, why did you kick the wall, down?" One very, very wise councilman asked. Note the sarcasm.

_'Huh? Wait, what scene are we in? I fell asleep when I gave you back your body,'_ my pacifist said, randomly. She must of fell asleep because it takes quite a lot of chakra to take control of my body, even if I let her use it willingly. Going to a clone is no problem, because shadow clones aren't really people. She and sadist could also go into a wooden version of myself if I created one nearby.

"C'mon Hashi-chan! I need to introduce you to your future wife so I can become a godmother!" I excitedly said, grabbing Hashirama and Madara, and running towards a direction where a certain friend of mine is supposed to meet me.

* * *

We were in the woods, and I was running like wild, gripping their wrists with so much force neither clan head could escape. However, I came to a screeching halt, when I saw a speck of red in the green forest we were in. However, even though I tried to stop, I only actually halted, until I came upon my best friend, of this current generation.

My vision cleared up from the running and I came to be face and face with Mito Uzumaki, my best friend, and princess of Whirlpool and the Uzumaki clan.

"May? Why did you drag two young men here?" Mito asked, her firm voice sounding confused.

I didn't reply and instead, made a simple wood cottage. I positioned the confused Mito in front of the open door of the small house, and then stepped back, letting go of Madara and using roots to bind him to the ground.

**'Ha! Now he knows how we felt when we were tied together by roots!'**

I moved a little farther back, and held Hashirama tighter. Then, I threw Hashirama forward, making him collide with Mito, and into the cottage. I threw them hard enough to have them not go through one of the cottage's four walls, but hard enough for them to slam the door with the force of my throw. I quickly had roots bind the coottage's door, and made sure to loosen some of the wood to let air and light into the cottage, because I didn't plan on letting those two out for a while.

Ignoring Mito and Hashirama's threats, I walked over to Madara, and loosened the roots. He looked at me like I was crazy when he saw me drinking tea on a couch in the outdoor lounge I made, even though Hashirama and Mito's screams and threats were coming out of the tiny cottage, and the threats were probably screamed loud enough to reach Whirlpool country.

* * *

"This game is the most boring game I have ever played, in my life,"

"Hey! What's wrong with Go Fish?"

"Everything,"

I sighed, pouting, as I drank some more tea. What was wrong with Go Fish? Madara must be the reincarnation of Indra because they both hated the card game.

Anyway, Madara and I were just waiting in the wood, outdoor lounge, waiting for Hashirama and Mito to come out. I let the root binding on the cottage go away, but they still haven't come out yet. Yup, they were doing something alright.

I actually took the roots off the cottage when it suddenly got quiet. And trust me when I say they're doing something, because when I stuffed Asura into a closet with his wife, it suddenly got quiet too.

So, now Madara and I were sitting and trying our best to not imagine what's going on in there. Just because it's quiet doesn't mean something isn't going on between them. That's the magic of sound barriers, they stop people from hearing what's going on.

"Hey Maddie-chan?" I asked, turning my head to Madara, using my new nickname for him.

"What?" He asked, annoyed that I called him, 'Maddie'.

"Do you think Hashi-chan and Mito-chan will let us be their child's godparents?"

* * *

**Nene: Aha! May is doing some matchmaking!**

**Deidara: But doesn't Mito-San and Hashirama-San meet when the village is established?**

**Nene: Yeah, but May decided to introduce them early.**

**Tobi: Yay! Tobi's appearance is getting closer!**

**Nene: Tobi, your appearance is still far away, now be a dear and say the announcements.**

**Tobi: Nene-chan has UPDATED SOME OF THE CHAPTERS! And you should review as well. Nene-chan was sad that no one reviewed on the last chapter.**


	8. Lessons and Secrets

**"A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists." -Don Marquis**

* * *

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, let's just say that things would be seriously fucked up.**

**Dedicated to: People who have reviewed! Because your reviews make me smile!**

* * *

**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_

"Talking"

* * *

**~First person perspective~**

"Beat that ya old geezers! I got Hashi-chan a love life before you could!"

"May, will you please refrain from agitating my grandfather?"

"Not in a million years, Maddie-chan!"

Did you see the looks on the council's faces when Madara and I had to drag Mito and Hashirama back? It was priceless! They didn't actually believe me when I said I could bring other clans into their peace treaty, but when they saw Madara and I pull Mito and Hashirama, who were making out, into the meeting room, they immediately jumped in surprise of seeing the princess of Whirlpool.

Anyway, now, the council and a couple close to Hashirama and Madara accepted me. Not Tobirama though, I think he hates me now, I mean, pacifist did use my body to kick his face. Although, he avoids me like the plague. And hides from me at all costs. So not only does he hate me, but he apparently has a phobia of me.

_'Serves the man right! He should go die in a hole before he makes me even angrier!_' My pacifist side said, punching a Tobirama plushy-wait a second! Why in the world is there a huge shelf full of all the Naruto characters' pushies in my head? Since when did that even show up in my mind?

**'When you tried to block out the awful images of Hashi-chan and Mito-chan having "love" when you and Madara decided to drag them back home,'**

Oh yeah, you guys made a wall of those pushies so that you wouldn't be able to see those two. Tch, lucky, I'm pretty sure Madara was scarred for life when we opened the door. I was too.

_'It's not like you haven't seen people do that before, May,'_

Well yeah, but I always walked in by accident! I never wanted to see Indra and his wife doing 'it'! I just wanted to ask Indra if he saw Asura! And when I saw Asura doing 'it' I just walked in his room because I wanted to spar! And all the other times was because-

"May!"

"Eh? W-what's going on?" I said, snapped out of my arguemeant with my alter egos.

"I questioned what Hashirama and Mito-San were doing when we walked into the cottage. The council seemed nervous and disappeared, telling me that you would explain to me what they were doing," Madara said, completely serious. I stared at him wide eyed, and turned my head to where the council was sitting, only to see those dashed lines they put in cartoons to indicate that someone left. Damn, they left me with a clueless Madara.

"W-wait. You have no idea what those two were doing when we opened up the cottage and dragged them out?" I asked nervously.

He simply blinked, showing complete innocence and confusion, as I tied him down into a chair, this was going to be a long day.

"Alright Maddie-chan, it's time I told you about the birds and the bees,"

* * *

"Hey May-san?"

"Hm?"

"Where is aniki?"

"Oh, he's in his room, reflecting on the lesson I taught him,"

"Is that why he's huddled in a corner, mumbling about 'baby making'?"

Ahh, who would've thought that Madara and Izuna would actually have innocence in them, considering that they were born while a war was happening? Heh, looks like I'll have to teach them some things.

"Izuna, darling, it's time you learned how babies are made,"

* * *

"So babies arent delivered by storks?"

"No, they're not, and ya know what? You took this conversation much better than Maddie-chan," I said, proudly patting Izuna's head. All of a sudden, Izuna started coughing up blood. I grew worried and gave him a cloth, to cough the blood into. "You all right?"

"Y-yeah, just the side affects of a fatal move that I took during the war," he said, coughing up more blood.

I felt my chakra flicker into my hands as I healed away the stress he had. The stress must've been a result of the lesson I gave him and the pain the wound inflicted. I'm not much of a medic, but I got headaches and migraines a lot, thanks to someone's bickering! So I had to heal myself quite frequently.

_'Not my fault the Shinju is as annoying as Tobirama!'_

I sighed as he fell asleep, now that I healed the stress he had gotten from the lesson I gave him, and the wound inflicted on him. I rolled his shirt up a little bit to see the remainders of a large gash in his stomach, although it was only a scar now, it still looked horrifying and painful.

All of a sudden though, I felt a pain in my neck, and fell on top of Izuna.

* * *

"May,"

"May!"

"MAY!"

I woke up with a jolt as a bucket of cold water impaled itself into my face. And I mean the bucket and water. It hurt too, because the bucket happened to be made of steel, very hard steel.

"What the fuck was that for?" I said groggily, wiping my hair out of my eyes to come face to face with Madara.

"You wouldn't wake up," was his simple reply. However, it wasn't so simple as he opened up his mouth some more, finishing his sentence with "And that's what you get for deflowering my brother,"

I gaped at him for a few seconds, and then slapped my face as my alter egos laughed at me. "What in the world made you think I would do 'it' with your brother?! I'm years older than him!" I screamed at the Uchiha in rage.

**'Haha! That's so fucking funny! He thinks that you stole his brother's virginity!'**

I sighed and turned my head to Izuna, who was peacefully sleeping on the bed next to me. To think he would die in only a year at the most, give or take a few days. I cursed under my breath, remembering that Tobirama was the one who mortally wounded him. I guess that must be a reason why pacifist hates him so much.

_'Of course that's a reason why I hate him,'_

I then stood up, and asked Madara if I could borrow some clothes, seeing how mine were now wet. He inclined with my request, and walked out of the room.

I looked at the sky, to try and figure out how long I've been out, and it was dawn. When I was knocked out by Madara it was sunset, meaning that I had slept either through the night or longer. I looked at some random calendar in the room, to find that all of the days that have past were crossed out, and that I had apparently slept for five days, because I remember checking a calender in the cell I was in when I woke up, and I had kept track of the days until I was knocked out. Izuna was probably used to the affects of the wounds, and was probably just sleeping because he does what most people do, sleep. I could also tell he was having a daily sleep, like most people, because his clothes were different from the ones he wore five days ago.

**'You know, you could have just asked how long you've been out, pacifist bitch and I can always conjure up a calendar that tells us how long you've been out,'**

* * *

Five minutes later, after another talk with my alter egos, Madara came back with a plain blue kimono, and then escorted me to a washroom so I could change in privacy.

I sighed as I walked back to the room that Madara informed me that Hashirama, Mito, him, and other people would be in.

It took me thirty minutes but I found the room I was informed to go to. Inwardly, I cheered that I didn't get as lost as I usually did this time, because I could hear conversation and laughter coming from the door behind me.

* * *

A vein popped out of my head, as I had to separate Tobirama from Izuna, the latter woke up from his sleep and had headed to the room with Madara, the former attacking Izuna because he wasn't used to Uchiha walking around his home. Madara, Izuna, the elders and council, and a couple of other Uchiha's had stayed with the Senju's to ensure the alliance, and to keep an eye on me.

After Hashirama and I had our roots restrict the fighting pair, I fell onto the couch, sighing in relief. I screamed when Madara had rolled me off of the couch, and used me as a foot rest, which agitated me, a lot.

_'For dignified leaders, this batch acts childish,'_

"I'd have to agree with you, very much," I said to my pacifist side. "Wait a second, I said that out loud didn't I?"

"Yes, May, yes you did," Mito said sitting in Hashirama's lap as she drew some sketches or rough drafts of seals, that looked like they were meant to seal a person. Huh, someone must've gotten on her bad side. That or she's just binding herself to Hashirama so that no one can steal him from her. Or maybe the council is planning to seal the Kyubbi in her already, but she doesn't get the Nine-Tails until after Madara defects.

I sighed as Hashirama and Madara began to get into a 'manly' argument as they called it.

**'Yeah, cause arguing about their attire is so fucking manly!'**

Sigh, this is gonna be a long day, but not as long as the lesson I gave Madara. I don't think five hours that feel like five weeks can have anything longer than it.

* * *

"May-chan?"

"Yes, Izuna?"

"Just how powerful are you?" The question he asked made me freeze. I had been with the Uchiha and Senju for a year now, and everyone was certainly used to each other and me. I was also helping the council in enforcing Konoha, that was created only a month ago, by contacting other clans. The village was just established, and only a few small clans and civilians from Whirlpool country had joined the village so far, since Mito was to marry Hashirama soon. The Hyuga had agreed to join, and were coming their way, the Inuzuka were still uncertain, and the Nara took a while to agree, but eventually did, though they planned on bringing their allies to the village as well, the Yanamaka and Akimichi. As for Mito and Hashirama, they were planning to marry when they turned twenty, a year from now. However, I still wasn't certain who I'd trust, even if Izuna was my best guy friend, in this era.

_'Well, maybe he wants to know if you're better matched for his brother, since the council did try and marry you to Izuna,'_ my pacifist side commented. Ah yes, the council's idea of match-making. Seriously! What is wrong with them? I'm four freaking years older than him! Okay, I know that some people might marry younger people, but in reality, I'm basically a hundred years older than him! So no, council, I will not marry a boy who is a hundred years younger than me!

Anyway, let's see, if I let Izuna know, than it'll take off a gazillion tons of stress off my shoulders. However, if someone's listening to this conversation, than they would know my secrets.

_'If you're worried about someone listening in on your conversation, then just transport him to your mind'_ my pacifist side suggested. It was actually a good idea, but the thing is, I don't know how to do that.

**'Make two clones, and you can leave the rest to us, bitch'** my sadistic side said.

I sighed, and agreed with my crazier alter ego, making two clones. Then, I suddenly felt a wave of tranquility left in my head, well, as peaceful as it can get with a monster still in your head. My alter egos took control of the two clones, and made their appearance. Their appearance didn't change, and neither did mine, the only differences in mine was that I looked older, you know, so people wouldn't be suspicious, and my kimono was longer, ending right underneath my knees.

It took Izuna time to register who these people were, but before he could scream that one of them had the same dojutsu as him even though he had never seen her in his clan, my sadistic side struck one of his pressure points, and my pacifist side placed a tiny seal on him, that would enable him to enter my mind. I sighed as they disappeared, and put the unconscious Uchiha on the couch, we were in the lounge, before I sat on the other end of the couch, and knocked myself out.

* * *

I opened my eyes to see that I was in my mind, and that Izuna was using me to shield him because I was the only person he knew in our location. I sighed and sat down at my sadistic side's tea table, but not before I dragged Izuna to the table as well.

"May-chan, where are we?" Izuna asked eyeing my sadistic side who was happily sipping tea, with her Sharingan still on, a habit of hers. My pacifist side was, once again, arguing with the Ten-Tails. The Shinju still annoyed me to great lengths because I couldn't understand what it said, and because whenever it talked, it sounded like screaming to me.

"We, Izuna, our in my mind," I answered as I took a bowl of blueberries from the table. "Now, do you want to discuss about what I can do, or not?"

Izuna nodded his head, but then looked at me in the eyes. By the look in his eyes, I could tell he wanted to go away from sadist, seeing how she was punching a life sized plushy of his older brother. I sighed and shook my head, and walked over to a library, which didn't have many books in it. The books there, were the books on the Naruto-verse, I had my pacifist side keep them in my mind so I wouldn't risk anyone finding them, and books from my world that were read for entertainment.

Izuna sat on a bunch of pillows while I sat on a bean bag chair, and began my very, very, very long explanation of my powers.

"Alright, this is gonna be kinda long, so get comfy. Let's see, what do I begin with. Hmm. Oh! I know! Alright, so, I'm the jinchuriki of the Ten-Tails, and I have two alter egos. The Ten-Tails gave me my first chakra, but now I have a different chakra, created by my alter egos. My alter egos represent your clan, the Uchiha, and the Senju clan. The Uchiha representative in my mind, is sadistic, but childish. She specializes in fire, earth, and lightning. She uses scythes and chains. She also has the Yin release, along with with my other alter ego, my pacifist side. My pacifist side specializes in water, wind, and lightning. She uses poison and senbon. That's all you need to know about my alter egos indiviual powers," I began explaining, I waited a little bit to let Izuna soak in the information, and then continued. "I, on the other hand, only have the affinity of lightning. The only reason I have the wood release is because my alter egos can combine their powers and have me use them, when they're in my head. When they're out of my head, I only have the lightning release. The staff on my back is used to absorb and redirect any chakra based move. The only other ability I excel in is taijutsu. Genjutsu is performed by my alter egos. To summarize it, I have the lightning release, I fight with taijutsu, I have a staff as a weapon, and anything else needing kekkai genkai or certain releases is assisted with my alter egos. However, my father gave me the Rinnegan, to complete my life mission. Though I never use the eyes, I can use them to manipulate things. Aaaaaaand, I think that's about it. Oh yeah, and I'm immortal, so I'm like, a hundred years older an you," I finished.

Izuna seemed to soak all this information up like a sponge, and then when I thought he was gonna faint, he replied to my long explanation with this comment, "So that's why you're insane and can do weird things,"

**'Oi, brat, bitch, get your asses over here, pacifist bitch and I are playing, "Throw weapons at Tobirama-teme's life sized plushy",'** my sadistic side said, sharpening already sharp weapons, as my pacifist side hanged the Tobirama plushy on a giant target.

Well, I don't know if Izuna will want to be near two crazy spirits, throwing weapons at the younger brother of his brother's best friend- Oh, wait. He has a devil smile on and is walking over there, and where did he get all those weapons? Tobirama's lucky that the plushy in my mind isn't a voodoo doll or something, or else he would be able to feel the pain that those three are about to inflict on him. Wait, is pacifist drawing a seal on the doll. Shit, isn't that a seal that connects someone or something to another person or item. Well, Tobirama better be close to the infirmary, or at least close to a medic, cause pacifist is attacking him first, and ouch, that gotta hurt. Ow, oh, wow, those three must really hate Tobirama.

* * *

After Izuna and I woke up, we both learned that Tobirama had to be tied to a chair because everyone thought he was crazy, when he acted as if someone was attacking him, even though there was no psychical or internal damage on him.

* * *

**Nene: Sorry I didn't update in a while, but the chapter is my longest so far.**

**Tobi: Yay! Tobi's appearance keeps on getting closer and closer!**

**Deidara: Shut up, un!**

**Nene: Anyway, thank you guys for reviewing! I got a lot of reviews, which makes me happy!**

**Deidara: I wanna sleep, so I'll just say the announcement, un. Review, un.**


	9. Funerals and Distractions

**"Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company." -Mark Twain**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and Naruto doesn't own me.**

**Dedicated to: That little voice in my head that scolds me for being lazy.**

* * *

**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_

"Talking"

* * *

**~First person perspective~**

The skies were dark, thunder and lightning colliding and flashing. The rain pelted hard, and some of it even turned to hail, but I just stared, from under my umbrella, at Madara. He wouldn't leave , and he certainly didn't care that it was freezing cold, and that he could even die from the cold, he just stood on the ground, staring. Hashirama, Mito, their child, Tobirama, and all of Konoha, actually, were beside me. Most of them stared at him in pity while others were shocked to see him sad, but there was a small group of people, that made my temper rise.

They sneered at him, taunting and mocking Madara and his clan. Saying how great the Uchiha have fallen, how much the Uchiha clan head deserved this pain. Though it's not like they said it out loud, they were far too scared at what would happen to them if Madara, or any other Uchiha, heard them. I had my alter egos scan the minds of everyone, and tag the people I would torture, eventually. I know it was an invasion of privacy, to look into one's thoughts, but I had to find the group that had killed him, the group that killed Izuna.

I know that Izuna was supposed to die from the fatality of his wound, but with help from pacifist who was a medic, I was able to find a way to heal Izuna's wound, I didn't want my best guy friend to die, after all. But that damned night, some idiots who didn't like the Uchiha clan attacked him when I left to tell Madara the happy news. Madara had ran as fast as he could, dragging me with him so I could heal his brother, well pacifist was supposed to take over my body and heal him, but just as quickly as the happiness arrived, it faded when we both saw Izuna's head on the ground, separated from his body. The sight was so sickening, blood everywhere and limbs scattered, that Madara had actually fainted, and I had gone through serious trauma for a week.

Anyways, eventually, a lot of people left, and soon, it was just Hashirama, Mito, their son, Tobirama, and I waiting for Madara to get up and walk back with us. But seconds flew by, and those seconds turned to minutes, which turned to hours, and eventually, I was the only person waiting for the Uchiha head.

I felt sad that I couldn't save my best guy friend, the only one I have had since I was five in my old world, but I knew that saving him would mess up the whole plot of Naruto. I couldn't risk Naruto not being born, or Kisame, or Tsunade, or anyone for that matter, they all had an important role, and I couldn't fill in their role, I already had plans on what to do. And I didn't want to risk many changes, so that was why I only planned on torturing those bastard.

I sighed as another hour flew by, the moon already high up, only small rays of its light shining through the thick clouds. I took a look at Madara, to see that he was fast asleep. I tried to carry him, and even had my alter egos help out, but let's face it, I have no upper body strength, even if I have the Ten-Tails inside of me, the Rinnegan eyes implanted into me, and the many years of training, it would always be difficult for me to use upper body strength.

Because I couldn't lift up Madara, even with the roots, I placed the blanket that was over my shoulders onto his sleeping form, stuck the umbrella into the ground, and plopped next to him. Soon, though, I found sleep overtaking me as well.

* * *

I opened my eyes to the aching sound of crashing and clashing. I looked out my tree house and into the Valley of End, or what would become the Valley of End, to see a sight that I did not want to wake up to, Madara and Hashirama's epic fight.

Yeah, I'll admit it, I enjoy watching fights, and I do think that Madara and Hashirama's was one of the most epic things in the world, but who would want to wake up to two of your friends fighting with one of them using Kyubbi as a weapon.

"Fucking yes! It's my Fluffy! We get to finally reunite with him!" My sadistic side screamed in joy as she popped up beside me with my pacifist side, in clones of course. I groaned in agony as my pacifist side, gently, yanked me out of the bed. You see the sarcasm in that, don't you?

"It's only been a month since Izuna's death, couldn't Maddie-chan have waited another night until he tries to kill Hashi-chan, I really enjoyed my sleep this time, since you guys didn't yank me into my mind," I complained, rubbing my back as I took off my heavy, but thin and small, weights, doing a couple basic stretches as I grabbed my staff.

"We have no time to waste, May, so for goodness sake put on some shorts under your dress and put a jacket on, I know you're not wearing a bra under that!" my pacifist side scolded. And yeah, I don't wear a bra when I sleep, because I find it impossible to sleep with those on. I don't really have to worry much about decency anyway, since I live alone, and the dress I use as sleepwear is black, is made of a thick but quite thin material, reaches my ankles, does not hug to my body, and has sleeves that go up to my elbows, so there's hardly a chance that anyone will see what I don't want them to see. However, because my dress does not hug onto any of my body parts, and basically just flows around freely, there's a high chance that wind can pick up the dress and lift it up, and I don't want that.

Anyway, I quickly put on some black shorts and a grey jacket. I ran out the door with my alter egos, tying my hair with a random hair tie I found as we zoomed through the trees. my tree house wasn't that far from the soon to be Valley of End, but Hashirama created some more trees as I got ready, and while my alter egos and I were running out of the tree house.

* * *

By the time we reached there, sparks of metal against metal was blinding my vision. When my vision cleared once more, I could see Hashirama and Madara raging at each other at lightning speed. Every once in a they would go at each other with so much force that the katanas got stuck to each other for a few seconds, before the clan heads would pull apart and charge again.

However, to sadist's horror, Kyubbi was being restricted by Hashirama's wood release. She tried to run and free him, but pacifist held her back and scolded her. "We have to snap the Nine-Tails out of his trance, or Madara's control, or whatever. We cannot, however, run over there and just free him from the binds," she said, dodging a tree that the Kyubbi had indirectly hurled at her. We were still quite far away, so it was hard to see us.

"Ahem," I began, interrupting sadist's whining, "What am I supposed to do? I can't exactly restrain tailed beasts, except for the one inside of me, and even then, it was you two who had restrained the Shinju, I just strengthen the seal pacifist put on it,"

"Ah, May, I was getting to your part," my pacifist side began, then turned her head to sadist, nodding at her to tell me what my part would be.

"How do you feel about distracting the brats?" My sadistic side said.

* * *

"Oi Maddie-chan! I bet you didn't know that Izuna and I were having an affair!" I screamed at him. That was a lie of course, it would feel very awkward to have a relationship with a guy who's many, many, many years younger than you. However, seeing Madara turn around twitching like crazy almost made me laugh, were he not glaring at me with a look that could kill. Then, I turned to Hashirama and screamed, "I told Mito-chan that you were in love with Maddie-chan! And I sent Tobirama to the hospital, again!" Okay, so the second part wasn't a complete lie, pacifist did send Tobirama to the hospital yesterday, she was controlling one of my clones though, so she didn't look like me. Don't get me wrong, I do like Tobirama, he's cool in my book. Pacifist just has a burning hatred for him. I had no idea about the first part, however, it made Madara twitch harder, and made Hashirama begin to twitch as well.

Before I knew it the two completely forgot about the fight, and were chasing after me, like mad men. Madara had eventually lost focus on Kyubbi, and I could see my alter egos trying to calm down the giant fox.

Suddenly, Madara thrust a katana in my heart, blinded by anger, and since people wouldn't expect me to live through something like that, I substituted myself with a random corpse that happened to be on the battlefield.

I looked up, to find myself face to face with Kyubbi. And before I knew it, I was randomly transported to my mind.

* * *

I blinked in confusion, seeing the Nine-Tails in my head, with my alter egos and the Shinju.

**'Explain now, May.' **Kyubbi demanded, staring at me, or was he glaring, I couldn't tell.

"Ahaha, about that, can I get a hug?" I asked, opening my arms as wide as I could. The Nine-Tailed beast just rolled his eyes, and awkwardly hugged me. "Thank you for the hug, my Fluffy-chan, shall I begin the super duper long explanation that might take forever?"

Kyubbi just nodded his head, laying down in a giant pet bed with the words, Fluffy, labeled on it. Huh, I remember seeing sadist create that, and then stuff it into a huge closet.

* * *

"Soooo, now that Kyubbi got sucked out of my mind and sealed into Mito-chan's body, what do I do now? 'Cause I'm pretty sure everyone thinks I'm dead," I asked, I had finished my explanation to Kyubbi a while ago, and he was sealed into Mito only five minutes ago.

_'Well, that's easy May, we create a disguise and somehow rejoin Konoha_' was what my pacifist side answered, a plan already formed in her head, err, my mind.

* * *

**Nene: Boom! I got this chapter done on my first day of summer break!**

**Deidara: Hah! So you do agree with me that art is a bang, un!**

**Nene: Wait, what? Oooh! Do you mean the 'boom' I said at the start of my sentence? Oh silly DeiDei, as much as I love explosions and violence and destruction, I like art that lasts long.**

**Deidara: Stupid Danna, turning everyone against me, un.**

**Tobi: Do not worry, Deidara-sempai! Tobi is not against you!**

**Deidara: Stay away from me, un.**

**Nene: Well, as hilarious as it is to see Deidara scramble away from Tobi on all fours, could you please say the disclaimer, Tobi?**

**Tobi: Yes, Nene-chan! Nene-chan would greatly appreciate it if you reviewed!**


	10. Nene-chan and Kakuzu

**"It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter." -Marlene Dietrich**

* * *

**Disclaimer: Is my name Kishimoto Masashi?**

**Dedicated to: Chitsuki-Tokiwa, who was the only person who reviewed last chapter.**

* * *

**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_

"Talking"

* * *

**~First person perspective~**

"Seriously, you guys? You didn't have to tie me to a chair!"

"Hush May, we're thinking of a perfect disguise for you,"

I sighed, my alter egos had popped into clones and tied me to a chair, just so they could think of another identity for me. The plans for a new identity was reasonable, since it wouldn't be wise to waltz into a village, full of ninja, who think that you're dead. Tying me to a chair? No, not reasonable and certainly not necessary. We were in the middle of a forest! They couldv'e just tied me to a tree.

Then, my sadistic side began to scribble on a notepad. She snapped her fingers, indicating that she was done and proud of whatever she drew, and showed her scribbles to pacifist, as I tried to look at what she had on the notepad. I couldn't get a good look at it, so I could only guess that the scribbles was what my sadistic side thought my identity should be and what I should wear.

My pacifist side nodded her head, agreeing with my sadistic side on my disguise, and then walked over to me, performing Tsunade's special Transformation technique on me. My alter egos then made a small changing room, and ushered me inside with the clothes that they grabbed from no where.

When I came out, my sadistic side was cooing at me as if I was a two year old! And then, my pacifist side took out a mirror, and placed it in front of me.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME!"

Yup, I don't think I've ever screamed louder in my life, because when I looked into the mirror, I came face to face with a fucking two year old me. I looked exactly the same as when I first came to the Naruto-verse, except for the clothes and eyes. I had changed into a gray dress that ended at my knees, had no sleeves, and had a big red bow tied around my waist. I preferred being bare foot, so I had no shoes, and the only things on my feet were heavy, fifty pound weights that looked like delicate anklets. I had placed in contacts that made my eyes a really dark purple, and I then proceeded to cut my hair, which was a paler orange compared to my usual fiery orange.

"Wait, what the fuck are you doing?" My sadistic side asked, since cutting my hair was obviously not a part of her design.

"Cutting my hair of course," I answered, taking one of my kunai and chopping off layers of hair. When I was done I moved the mirror in front of me aside, and showed my alter egos my pixie cut hair. It was layered, some hair going to my chin, other strands of hair ending at my ears, and my bangs covered my eyes, just in case my contacts fell off.

My sadistic side just sighed, sad that I cut my hair, since she loved long hair, and poofed back into my mind, along with my pacifist side.

"So what do I do now?" I said to no one in particular.

_'Well, we can either rejoin Konoha, or think of a new plan,' _my pacifist side said, in my mind, trying to calm down my sadistic side who was punching the Madara plushy.

I went with option number 1 feeling pretty sure that I wouldn't get lost this time around.

* * *

"What does the universe have against me!" I screamed into the air, as I continued to wander around the forest, looking for the village hidden in the leaves.

While walking, I had learned that I was changed into a two year old, because that was the age Hiruzen, Danzo, and the future elders, were at the moment. I also learned that our first plan was to join Team Hashirama and Tobirama. However, because we got lost, that plan seemed harder to accomplish.

I could hear my pacifist side thinking of some more random plans, mumbling, and then writing them down. As for my sadistic side, well, I could clearly hear her talking to the imaginary 'Nene-chan'.

**'Oi! Nene-chan takes offense to that!'** My sadistic side screamed, waving her fists into the air, or at least, I think she was.

_'Who is Nene-chan anyway?' _My pacifist side questioned, asking my sadistic alter ego the same question that was in my head.

**'Nene-chan is the authoress of course,'** my sadistic side replied, her voice sounded like she was offended by that question.

_'The authoress of what? You didn't really answer my question,'_

**'The authoress of this story of course! She's the one writing this story!'**

_'Are you okay, sadist? Because we have no idea what story you're talking about, and you keep on punching that Hidan doll,'_

**'This story! The story of our life! The one we're in right now!'**

_'We're not in a story,'_

I sighed, my sadistic side ranting on and on, as my pacifist side kept on asking confused questions. I tuned them out and continued to aimlessly walk though the forest. That is, until I crashed into something, err, someone.

"Are you lost little girl? It's dangerous to be out in these forests," a man asked me, picking me off the ground and planting me on my feet. I looked up to him, to stare straight at the face of Kakuzu. Except, he looked different, he wore a bandana, his eyes were the same, but the creepy thing was that they actually had emotion in them. You could easily see his dark brown, shoulder length hair, and there were no stitches or markings covering his arms or face or anything. He still wore a black mask that covered his mouth and nose, though.

I continued to stare at him, before I randomly tackled him into a hug. And I'm pretty sure me hugging him was a funny sight to see, since I was a two year old who just tackled a man much taller than her, onto the ground.

The young, maybe 20 years old, Kakuzu awkwardly hugged back. He then sat up, as I scrambled back onto my feet. I stared at him and pleaded. "Please, please, please make me your apprentice! I really need help in ninjutsu and you're one of the greatest ninjas I know!" I said, hugging the day lights out of the really tall man.

And what I said wasn't a lie. I mean, he's older than Tsunade, but he's still powerful in his old age. He was one of the greatest ninja in Waterfall village, and could take on Hashirama without dying. The fact he can fight Hashirama and make it out alive already says he's powerful. Oh yeah, and I seriously need help in ninjutsu. I mean, sure, I got two super strong spirits/alter egos/people, in my mind, but eventually, I'll be in situations where my alter egos are busy with another task, and my only defenses were taijutsu and my staff, however, I lost my staff when I was running away from Madara and Hashirama, plus, I'm pretty sure I saw Madara break it, so I only have taijutsu as my defense. Also, if I befriend Kakuzu now, when I try to befriend him in the future, ya know, when he thinks I've died, it'll be much easier, because I'll remind him of his silly little apprentice who was actually older than him.

Ahem, back to the present, Kakuzu was eyeing me warily. I mean, who wouldn't? I know him, but he doesn't know me, and it was four years before he defected, so for all I know, he could still be low in the ranks, and me calling him a great ninja wouldn't make sense. However, I brought out my ultimate weapon. I had my sadistic side take control over my body, and then, the secret weapon was activated.

Big eyes, pouting lip, soft whimpering, and the water works. Yup, he wouldn't be able to resist, he had to agree with me now! Mwahahahaha!

Anyways, once he saw tears about to trickle down my face, he immediately agreed. I cheered, and he picked me up, and gave me a piggy back ride! I was tired, and he could easily see that, since there were bags under my eyes, my feet were wobbly, and I couldn't really stand up correctly.

* * *

I had learned that Takigakure hadn't been established yet, and would be created three and a half years later. Also, Kakuzu happened to have a bounty on his head, because he was a mercenary with a lot of enemies.

So, because Takigakure didn't exist yet, we just travelled to the nearest village, which happened to be near the location of a building that most bounty hunters went to. It wasn't tense when we got there though, apparently, Kakuzu stayed at that village a lot, and the people were used to him.

We headed to a hotel, and Kakuzu gave me some money to go buy food and weapons.

* * *

**'Can't believe that miser gave us money,**' my sadistic side commented as we walked around the small village. I had already bought food and weapons. The sun was already setting and I was trying to find the hotel again.

Eventually, and thankfully, I found the hotel. I placed the leftover money on the nightstand, and put the food and weapons on the table. I crawled into one of the two beds in the room, and closed my eyes.

I saw Kakuzu walk in and stare at me, thinking I was asleep. Well, I think he thought I was asleep, because his footsteps got quieter after he looked at me. He slipped into the other bed in the room, and closed his eyes as well, but I knew he wasn't asleep yet.

"Goodnight Kakuzu-sensei,"

* * *

**Nene: And Kakzuz has now been introduced into the story!**

**Tobi: Yay! Kakuzu-sempai is in the story!**

**Deidara: Wait, if May-san's sadistic alter ego knows that this is a story, then doesn't that mean she should be here?**

**Nene: Yeah, but she's sleeping right now.**

**Deidara: And why are you in the story?**

**Nene: Because I don't want to be left out. Tobi just say the announcement.**

**Tobi: Nene-chan would be super duper happy if you reviewed!**


	11. Mission and Memories

**"Cure for an obsession: get another one." -Mason Cooley**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don't want to own Naruto, I'm scared an angry mob of fans will come after me if I don't give them the pairing that they want.**

**Dedicated to: My boredom, which made me update.**

* * *

**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_

"Talking"

* * *

**~First person perspective~**

"Hahaha! You'll never catch me alive!"

"Get back here brat!"

"Never! Haha-oomph!" I said, crashing into someone. I was running really fast and couldn't really see where I was going.

Why was I running exactly? Well, it just happens to be that Takigakure does not allow young children at the tender age of six to gamble, and win all of the money from a majority of the shinobi population. And you see, I violated that law, and was running from angry ninja who were now broke.

Anyways, back to the present, I just happened to crash into Kakuzu. Kakuzu looked at me with an expression that said 'May-I-know-you-did-something-again-that-angered-a-lot-of-people'.

I knew that if I wanted to survive, I had to get in the protection of my beloved sensei. So, I gave him the puppy dog eyes. He sighed, crouching down so that he was my height, and picked me up. I could tell he was getting tired, though.

No, he was not tired of carrying me, I was feather light, lighter than an average six year old. My teacher was tired of all the village stuff, missions, and complaints. We had only joined the recently established Takigakure four months ago, and Kakuzu and I had to do a lot of things just to get into the village.

First of all, registration was complicated. The village elders were a little wary of having a mercenary and his crazy apprentice into the village. We had to sign a lot of papers pledging our loyalty to the village. Then, there was the health inspection. Kakuzu's inspection was a breeze, it was me who they had trouble with. You see, the person inspecting me happened to be male, so whenever he came near me, I screamed 'rape'. He creeped me out, a lot, and I didn't want anyone to see my seal or eyes. I would've put a genjutsu on my eyes and stomach, had the creepy doctor not followed me everywhere. Even if I had the contacts on, the creepy doctor would notice, and have me take them off. The same thing with the seal on my stomach, if I put make up, or something like that, on my seal, he would just wipe it off.

Also, Kakuzu had to work on a lot of missions to get higher into the ranks again. Even if he was very skilled, the elders still put him on the bottom rank, and had him make his way up the ranks. And to get become an elite, s-class ninja in only a few months, well, that was a lot missions, a lot of dangerous missions.

And finally, the complaints. The people in the village were never really fond of me. It's not like I killed someone, they just despise me with a burning passion. I mean sure, I did destroy a training area, and I did electrocute someone and put them in the hospital once, but it was by accident! I'm only six!

**'You're not six, you're fucking older than the elders, and no one knows how old those geezers are,'** my sadistic side commented.

I sighed in relief, because when the ninja saw me in Kakuzu's hands, they immediately skidded to a stop. Just because we joined the village not too long ago didn't mean we weren't feared. First of all, I accidently electrocuted someone. I accidently electrocuted them when I was practicing a B-rank lightning jutsu that Kakuzu had taught me. Second, Kakuzu proved to be fiercely loyal to the village, and took plenty of missions, each one harder than the last. He had also gotten some stitches on his arms since he got some deep cuts every once in a while. And he was starting to look a little more like his future self, except not as many stitches, no slash on the Takigakure sign, and no markings showing he went to prison.

So yeah, the village respected us a lot, though I'm pretty sure I saw some parents tell their kids to stay away from me.

* * *

"So what's our mission? And what's the rank?" I asked my teacher as we walked through the forest, the heat starting to give me a headache. I had to wear a dark hood because my hair was quite easy to spot in the forest. Thanks to the genjutsu my sadistic side placed on my hair, it didn't become a fiery orange like it should've been, so it wouldn't be brighter and easier to recognize. My hair stayed a pale orange and my sadistic side also added bright blonde highlights, to make me unrecognizable even more. For extra precaution, I kept my hair in a pixie cut, but let some of the bangs grow to cover my face.

Anyways, we were walking through a forest, heading towards the destination of our mission. "Our mission is an assassination, an S-rank one," my sensei answered while we walked on and on.

However, when he answered, I was frozen, and fear grew inside of me. I didn't exactly snap out of my thoughts, but I caught up to Kakuzu. Although my body was fine and keeping up with my teacher's fast pace, my mind was in a frenzy, especially with my alter egos talking.

**'Shit! Shit! Shit! What do we fucking do? Do we go back to Takigakure with Kakuzu-sensei or do we get ourselves fucking captured?'** My sadistic side said, spitting out more curses in worry.

_'It would probably hurt Kakuzu to see his student captured, but we have to return to Konoha eventually, right?' _My pacifist side said, doing calculations and trying to fix our plans, which constantly changed.

* * *

I sighed, as I sat down to rest, trying to tune out my frenzied thoughts and my alter egos worried ramblings. Kakuzu had set up camp, informing me that we would reach our destination in three days. I heard the soft snoring of my sensei, and turned the genjutsu on me, off. My hair turned into it's natural bright orange, although it was still in a pixie cut, and Tsunade's transformation technique was released to some extent, making me the age Hashirama and Konoha would expect, the May they know, to be. My clothes didn't fit on me as well, so I changed into a red dress that I brought just in case I changed ages. I also put on a large brown cloak over me, putting the hood up, to hide my hair and face.

With a deep breath, I made a clone of the May Kakuzu knew, and put my sadistic side in it. "May, did you already come up with a plan?" My sadistic side asked.

"Yup. Listen carefully, pacifist and I are going to head to Konoha as fast as we can. I'm going to be a traveler or tourist there. When the fight happens, I need you to conjure up some lightning, and strike it at Hokage mountain, where Minato's face would be. Pacifist and I will run over there, and pacifist will take over my body and shoot her needles into your neck, and it will put you in a temporary death. Then, while Kakuzu-sensei is distracted, I'll take back my body and drag you out of there. From then on, we'll travel," I answered, telling my sadistic side the plan my pacifist side and I had come up with. The reason why my pacifist alter ego would still be in my body was because she was skilled with needles and remedies, concoctions, sedatives, poisons, ect., and she would apply a paralyzing poison, or something, onto the needles she would shoot at sadist's neck. I was needed because when I trained with Kakuzu, I got some decent upper body strength, so I could carry my sadistic side away from the scene. However, my alter egos didn't train there upper body strength, because they had to focus on other things, like our plans, genjutsus, and keeping the Shinju under control. And although I was lighter than an average six year old, my alter egos couldn't lift me up alone, so they had to work together just to carry me for ten seconds, until they fell down. So yeah, I was the strongest out of us three when it came to pure, brute, strength.

Anyway, I jumped out of the campsite, just in time, too, because Kakuzu had woken up to check up on me. Thankfully, sadist knew how to act, and was able to convince my teacher that she just had a bad dream.

* * *

I wandered around, just at the outskirts of Konoha. Actually, I was at the Valley of End. I was looking for my treehouse, praying that no one had found it. I couldn't find it, to my disappointment, so I sat down on a rock. It was still night, because I teleported to the valley, so I was certain I was alone.

Wanting to relax, I took off my cloak and went to the river. I sat on top of some pebbles, with my feet dangling into the cold water. I took off the scroll from my back, unsealing it so I could look at was in there.

Inside were things from my travels. The scroll had items that were stored in my mind, specifically the things that were in my portion of my mind. The first items were the stuffed bunny Kaguya gave me, the katanas Indra gave me, and the crystal flower I found in one of Hagoromo's storage rooms. Next, I found the journals that my pacifist side had wrote. The library was in my portion of my mind, so I also found some books that I read for entertainment or research. I also saw the scroll on Hyuga secrets, that was given to me by Hagoromo's brother, the ancestor of the Hyuga clan. I found a photo album that Mito gave me, a jacket the Inuzuka gifted me when I met them, a shoji board from the Nara clan, and a yukata from the Hyuga. There were little snow globes I bought when I traveled with Kakuzu, and a collection of ribbons that Hashirama and Tobirama gave me. I found a uchiwa fan with cherry blossoms on it from Madara, and a necklace. Tears began to prick my eyes as I remembered that the necklace was from Izuna, my best friend. The Uchiha clan symbol adorned the necklace, hanging limply on the silver chain.

Then, I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a rustling of leaves. I turned my head around to come face to face with someone I knew all too well. I stood up, quickly sealing my scroll in the process, and turned my entire body to the person who interrupted my thoughts.

_'Oh great, he's here,'_

"May? Is that you?"

* * *

**Nene: Did I mention that the beginning arcs are going to be short, until I reach the plot of Naruto?**

**Deidara: No, you forgot to tell them that, un.**

**Nene: Oh, well, until we reach the point where the Naruto series begins, some of the arcs I have before that will be short.**

**Tobi: Kakuzu-sempai isn't shown a lot.**

** Nene: Don't worry Tobi, the 'Kakuzu' arc of this story will be longer than the other arcs before the Naruto plot.**

**Tobi: Yay! We get to see more of Kakuzu-sempai!**

**Nene: Yup! So do the announcement, Deidara!**

**Deidara: Review, un. **


	12. Tobirama and Sadist

**"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend." -Emo Philips**

* * *

**Disclaimer: Well, I don't know, do you think I own Naruto?**

**Dedicated to: TheSolInvictus, you motivated me to work even harder.**

* * *

**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_ (Thinking does not apply to sadist when it's her POV)

"Talking"

*Mwhahahaha!* (Nene-chan, whenever it is on sadist's POV)

* * *

**~First person perspective~**

"Huh, I wasn't expecting you to be the one to figure this all out,"

"Does that mean it worked? Did my new jutsu actually work?"

"Huh? What! No! I am not a result of your jutsu! Teme!" I screamed, slapping the man in front of me.

"How else would you be here? You died six years ago, akuma!" He screamed back, pointing at me, accusingly.

"What was that?! You're the demon you baka!" I yelled at him, very intent on letting my pacifist side come out, so she can pummel him for her enjoyment. Yup, that's right, the man in front of me was none other than Tobirama Senju, the man my pacifist alter ego hated with a burning passion.

_'Let me out, I haven't been able to send him to the hospital in six years!'_ My pacifist side exclaimed, plotting Tobirama's death, in her mind, I mean my mind, I mean-errr, never mind. But I got to say, I kinda want to know what she has in mind. I mean, her methods of torturing him are creative. You see, pacifist happens to be awesome at torture and interrogation. Yeah, didn't see that coming did you? Her role model is Anko Mitarashi, so sadist and I knew that it would only be a short amount of time before pacifist went as crazy as her idol.

Anyways, I was standing in front of Tobirama, and was doing a very bad job at looking intimidating. Seriously! I have to look up to see his face! And not to mention that I, for some weird reason, always have waves of innoncence coming off of me, even when I act crazy! Maybe it's because I can't glare, even if I tried to, or is it because I'm only the level of a genin who has a not so big chance of passing the Chunin exams? Meh.

"Hey, what happened to your hair?" Tobirama asked, out of the blue, snapping me out of my inner rants on how weak I was.

I stared at him, like he just asked me to throw him off a cliff, which pacifisit would have gladly done, and then slapped his face, again. "What the fuck is wrong with you! Everyone thinks I'm fucking dead and you ask me what the fuck is wrong with my fucking hair? Your so stupid, baka!" I screamed, slapping him over and over again as I spewed out curses.

"Aright, alright, sheesh, it's just that I've never seen your hair so short!" Tobirama said, trying to block my slaps. Now, he could've easily done that, hell, an academy student could've done that, but my pacifist side was lending me her strength, chakra, and speed. Now, what she was doing was very dangerous, but she wasted no time in helping me hurt Tobirama, torturing him was like her hobby, or something. The other reason she was with me was because I needed help in controlling the Ten-Tails.

When I was distracting Madara and Hashirama, and whenever they decided to change my wardrobe, I had to keep the Ten-Tails at bay. And let me tell you, it is energy-killing, life destroying, fuckingly hard! When they changed my wardrobe they only had to let a little bit of their spirit enter the clone, and then they would be both in and out of mind. However, controlling a Sharingan-controlled Kyuubi? They had to enter the clones completely, leaving me alone to deal with that freaking Shinju! At first everything was alright, but then the Ten-Tails realized it could escape easily with my alter egos gone, and so I had to use most of my chakra to hold it off, and I don't have much chakra. Things got even worse for me when Madara decided to rip my heart out. Now, just because I'm immortal doesn't mean I can't feel pain too. It fucking hurt like hell! In fact, the Shinju was so close to taking over me I could barely even make it to Kyuubi. Hell, I'm suprised the Shinju isn't out wrecking havoc, because I was just about to go into a comatose when I transported myself to my furry and fluffy friend.

Suddenly, it became quiet, and I was snapped out of my rantings, again, and I found my tied together, with a cloth over my mouth. Tobirama was sitting in front of me, grinning. And of course, like the mentally insane, too old for anyone to count, girl I am, started squirming and panicking. I tried to kick his face, but my ankles were tied together too. Eventually, the cloth over my mouth came off and I screamed the most sane thing I could think of, "Somebody help me! The Hokage's brother is going to rape me!"

Tobirama looked at me weirdly and covered my mouth with his hand. "No, May! What did you think I was going to do? I'm dragging you back to Konoha!" He said, trying to quiet down my awkward screaming.

"Oh, well, that's where I was going to anyway. So, forward, my minion," I said, miraculously getting out of the binds and popping onto Tobirama's back, so he could give me a piggy back ride. I had quickly grabbed my cloak and scroll before latching onto Hashirama's brother, and we went on our merry way.

I slipped the cloak on, as he sighed, walking at a slow pace. My pacifist side put a genjutsu on me, that made me look just like her, thick brown pigtails, large brown eyes, womanly figure, and all.

* * *

**~Sadist's POV (Hah! I changed the perspective!)~**

I trudged forward with Stitches as we headed towards the direction of Konoha. Yeah, that's right readers, I called May's sensei 'Stitches'. And yes, I am very aware that this is a fanfiction, who do you think I am, a psycho little girl who's so insane she can destroy the world without even knowing? Haha, very funny.

*Actually, I wrote your character with that thought in mind,* Nene-chan said, popping into my mind.

Ah, you see, Nene-chan isn't fake! She's the freaking authoress of this fanfiction, people! I'm not as insane as you thought! I even help you guys sometimes. I ask questions that you review or ones you're probably thinking, so you understand the story more! You should all be thankful!

*Oi! Kakuzu-san is looking at you strangely, act more like May!*

Oh, right. I tried my best to look innocent, which wasn't that hard, and insane, not that hard to do either, at the same time. Doing those two personalities at the same time is hard, y'know! Why'd you have to make the main character of this story so complex, Nene-chan!

*Whats so hard with being innocent and crazy at the same time? Not to mention smart and dense in some moments, and weak, yet strong at points, and- okay, never mind, I see what you're saying,* Nene-chan said, realization finally striking her.

You see, May-chan is a carefully devised character. She has to be good at acting, has to be powerful, skillful, and what not, but Nene-chan doesn't want a Mary Sue, or whatever the fuck that is. So, Nene-chan makes it so that May-chan can't tap into the Shinju's fucking large chakra storages or control that annoying as fuck monster. She makes May-chan fast and good at taijutsu, but not very strong. May-chan has a small chakra reserve, with decent control, but she can execute the hand signs perfectly, remembering them all. Just because May-chan is better at pacifist bitch and I at brute strength and taijutsu, she is basically like Rock Lee in terms of fighting style. Though she does have chakra and the lightning release, she rarely uses jutsus and chakra, they're for emergencies. And so, to conclude this fucking long explanation on how May-chan is still weak, I will use Nsruto characters to give a more simple explanation. May-chan is like Sakura with amazing memorization, Shikamaru with his plans and strategies, and Rock Lee in terms of fighting style and speed.

'Done with the fucking explanation, now can you please switch back to May-chan and Tobi-teme now, Nene-chan?'

*Alright, alright, let me just switch it back to May's POV,*

* * *

**~May's POV~**

Tobirama set me down in front of the village gates and looked at me weirdly again. "What happened to you?" He asked, looking at my appearance. My chest was bigger than the average ones I had and I was now a brunette. Yup, I look nothing like myself.

_'Is there something wrong with my appearance?_' My pacifist side asked, wondering if what I thought was an insult.

"Well, would you think it's a good idea to into a village, full of ninja, who think you're dead?" I asked him. It was rhetorical, but I swear I saw his mouth open a little before he closed it, deciding not to answer.

"Hey, shouldn't you put on the hitai-ate you got when Konoha was founded?" Tobirama asked.

"Why can't we just say I'm a traveller, or tourist, or whatever?" I answered him, not wanting to go through all the things in my scroll to find the forehead protector.

"Because it would be less suspicious if we were to say that you were a traveller who wanted to join and become a ninja. How many travelers do you know that get escorted into the village by the candidate for Nidaime Hokage? Not many, I presume," he told me. Even without looking I could feel the smirk burned into his skin for thinking of a better idea than his friend/rival/enemy/nemesis/I don't even know what he classifies me as.

I opened my mouth to retort, but closed it again, and opened my scroll, trying to find the box of ribbons Tobirama and Hashirama gave me. Eventually, I found the box and opened it for Tobirama to see two of the ribbons used for my forehead protectors. I grabbed the white one with the Konoha symbol on it and placed it around my neck like a choker. "Hey, don't I have to go through an exam or something to get these?"

_'Why are you being nice to him! We should torture him again!'_ I heard my pacifist alter ego mumble in the back of my mind.

Tobirama waited for a second not coming up with anything, until he finally figured something out. "We'll say that I was so impressed by you skills that I gave you one right away," he answered, and then dragged me into the village.

We passed by many villagers, and I noticed that more clans had joined, like the Hatake clan! And Haruno clan? Hmm, that's a lot of Haruno clansmen, I wonder what happened to all of them?

Anyway, we continued to walk on, many people staring at us and murmuring, until we bumped into someone.

"Hmm? Who's this Tobi-chan?"

* * *

**Nene: Aha! I made an appearance and I changed the point of view!**

**Deidara: Hey where's Tobi, un?**

**[Somewhere super secret and is definitely not my attic]**

**Tobi: Somebody help Tobi!**

**Sadist: Cut the crap! I know who you are, and you are going to admit that you are Obito!**

**Tobi: Nooooooo! Tobi is Tobi and Tobi is a good boy!**

**Sadist: Get back here!**

**[Back to the place where Nene-chan and Deidara are, which is definitely not my brother's room]**

**Nene: Oh yeah, he's probably with Sadist.**

**Deidara: Do I say the announcement then, un?**

**Nene: Nah, I'll do it this time, there's two this time and I feel like saying them.**

**Deidara: Okay, un. I'm going to find Sasori-danna, un.**

**Nene: Alright, first of all, review. Second of all, in your review, would you please give me a suggestion for a name for sadist and pacifist, they're people too, y'know.**


	13. Engaged? and Names

**"Children are the most honest critics. They will say 'You're funny', but also 'You're pathetic - go away." -Dylan Moran**

**Disclaimer: Hmm, no, I don't think I own Naruto, or Hinata, or Akatsuki.**

**Dedicated to: My brother, it's his birthday!**

* * *

**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_ (Thinking does not apply to sadist or pacifist or May when it's their POV)

"Talking"

*Mwhahahaha!* (Nene-chan, whenever it is on sadist's POV)

* * *

**~First person perspective~**

"Oh, um, this is," Tobirama started.

"My name is Haru, Hokage-sama" I interrupted, saving Tobirama the trouble of being questioned further by his brother.

"Hmm, why do you have a Konoha forehead protector?" Hashirama asked eyeing the ribbon tied around my neck.

"Haru wanted to join Konoha, so I let her, after I tested her," Tobirama answered, stepping out from behind me.

"No no, there's something more about her," Hashirama said, waving his hand in front of his brother as he thought about whatever was in his head. "Aha! I know who you are!" He exclaimed, snapping his fingers.

"Y-you do?" I said, err, asked, getting nervous that Hashirama had figured out already,

"You're Tobirama's fiancé!" He said, patting his brother's back and congratulating him.

"E-eh?!" Tobirama and I questioned at the same time.

"Now now, I understand that Tobi-chan was trying to keep your relationship a secret, but he's been going out of the village recently and suddenly he brings you back? A blind man can obviously tell that Tobirama has been sneaking out of the village to see you, and he finally got the guts to bring you to his home," Hashirama said to Tobirama and I, and I could see out of the corner of my eye that Tobirama was twitching, a lot. Meh, I understand, I did annoy him a lot, and for his brother to think that we love each other? Well, I can see the mental pain he's going through right now. "Oh, don't worry, Tobirama, your marriage will not be looked down upon. In fact, I think we'll hold the wedding a week from now so that word can get out to everyone, and so we'll have time to prepare for the grand wedding. Yes, yes, and Mito-chan will also help, so there is no worry, Haru-chan, Mito-chan and I will make sure that your wedding is the greatest one of all," Hashirama added, dragging the twitching Tobirama and the very annoyed me towards his home so that he can introduce me to the family.

_'Damn you Hashirama! There is no way May will marry your brother!'_ my pacifist side screamed.

Then, Tobirama grabbed me closer to him, making my pacifist side angrier, and whispered in my ear, "Just go along with it, it does make sense,"

"Uh huh, and what were you doing sneaking out of the village?" I whispered back to him, recalling what Hashirama had said earlier.

"I was working on a new jutsu, Edo Tensei no Himitsu," he answered me, then pulled away, noticing that we reached the Senju compound. We entered into the compound, only to have a bunch of people crowd around us, questioning us, mainly me, though.

"Huh! My goodness she's beautiful! Tobi-chan you have certainly picked a good bride!" I heard someone say, as I felt my self get pulled into a bone crushing hug. I was set back on the ground only to come face to face with Mito Uzumaki Senju, my best girl friend in this universe. "Nice to meet cha! I'm Hashirama's wife, Mito!" She said shaking my hand, and I swear that she was shaking my hand so fast that it ended up as a blur.

_'Oi, May, make a shadow clone and I'll transfer some of myself into it. That way I can gather some information,'_ I heard my pacifist side say, before I found myself creating a clone outside of the compound, and feeling my pacifist alter ego put a third of herself into the clone.

Sigh, she's lucky, she doesn't have to face a crazy Mito dead set on giving you a wedding that you don't even want in the first place.

* * *

**~Sadist's POV~**

"Kakuzu-sensei, who are we going to assassinate?" I asked, trying my best to imitate May.

"He's a very powerful man, May. I'm sure you heard of him, he's the first Hokage after all," Stitches, Kakuzu, answered not bothering to look at me as we weaved through the many trees, indicating that we were getting closer to Konoha, though, we wouldn't be there until one day from now.

I didn't say anything to the miser, and just nodded my head, going back into my mind, I mean, the shadow clone's mind.

Hey, Nene-chan, how come I was crazy but looked innocent when pacifist bitch and I were locking away the Shinju? I had remembered that I said it was hard to imitate May, but then I remembered that I could have easily done that before.

*You were two years old, remember? Even Shirohime looked innocent at that time, even though she was covered with scars and blood,* I heard Nene-chan answer me, but...

Who the hell is Shirohime? Last time I remember, the only person we know named Shiro would be white Zetsu.

*Remember, I asked the readers for names for you and pacifist. Pacifist is Shirohime, white princess, and you're Kurohime, black princess. Any other questions you wanna ask all randomly?* Nene-chan answered, then asked.

Yeah, how come I had strength when I hauled the Ten-Tails into the cage, and how come when we were with Hagoromo May had upper body strength?

*Baka, you were inside the mind, you could do anything you want in there, hell, you could even transport me in there. As for May's upper body strength, you were lending her chakra from the Shinju remember? But now you can't access the Ten-Tails chakra, so May doesn't have the chakra enhanced strength from you guys or the Shinju, anymore,* Nene-chan said, and I could hear she was getting irritated by my questions. Eh, she's the one who makes me say them anyway.

I was about to ask her why May couldn't access the Shinju's chakra, but before I could mentally ask the question, the miser that was running along with me decided to talk.

"May," Stitches said, snapping me out of my conversation with Nene-chan, "I want you to know that once the assassination begins, you are not to engage in battle. The only reason I brought you along was to give you some experience and knowledge, understood?" I looked at him through the eyes of the clone, and nodded in understanding.

Man, May's lucky, she's got a sensei who cares about her, and when he becomes a missing-nin, I highly doubt he would attack her.

* * *

**~May's POV~**

"Hmm, so you're a ninja, Haru-san?" One of those annoying elders question. I was twitching because I could tell that people, particularly Tobirama's fangirls, were glaring at my picture. Why were they glaring at a picture of me? Because in the one day I had stayed at the compound, Mito somehow got pictures of Tobirama and I, and made a bunch of fliers that announced our 'wedding'. Yup, I really hated her right now, not that I could actually hate Mito, I was just annoyed that her and Hashirama were trying to marry Tobirama and I. How Mito got the fliers posted all over the village without me noticing, since she was also giving me a tour, I wouldn't know.

Anyways, I nodded, still twitching, and was about to comment about that topic, but Tobirama beat me to it. "Haru's particularly good with ninjutsu, you'd be suprised with what her release is," he said, and all in once, after I soaked into my head what he had said, I panicked. I was awful with ninjutsu! I had low reserves, and now the council expects me to do some extravagant jutsu! I'm going to torture Tobirama for this!

"Oh, is that true?" Asked another damn elder. Don't get me wrong, they're nice people, well, I just hate being interrogated. In fact, I'm not exactly fond of being asked questions where I have to make a choice.

Now, once again, Tobirama screwed up everything. Before I could tell the elders and council that my "fiancé" was exaggerating and that I was better at taijutsu, Tobirama confirmed to them that I was amazing at ninjutsu.

"Then it's settled, we'll have you spar against someone so you can show us your skills in ninjutsu," the council decided, and I mentally deflated. I could faintly hear the consoling of my alter ego, but because she was off in the village doing who knows what, I could really make out what she said.

* * *

~Shirohime's (Pacifist) POV~

I was wandering around the village looking for the place where Kakuzu and Hashirama would engage in battle. I only had limited time, seeing how sadist and Kakuzu would arrive tomorrow. I swear though, I could hear a voice in my head whispering Shirohime to me, Kurohime whenever I said sadist, and it kept on getting me off track.

Because May had my appearance, I changed into the appearance of Tsunade, seeing how she wasn't born yet. Tsunade and I looked really similar, though. We both had a Yin seal, we both had pigtails, though I had twice more than her, we were both blonde, but my blonde was a darker color, and we both had a, quite large, chest, though Tsunade's was a little bigger.

Anyway, when I saw fliers of May and Tobirama's "wedding" I could literally feel her twitching in annoyance, and from the glares she was probably getting from that man's fangirls.

Tobirama, that idiot, he just had to go along with what Hashirama had suggested. If it weren't for him, may wouldn't be in such a foolish situation. Where most girls dream of true love, May has no intention to marry, or date. She would much rather adopt children, since she wanted children, but didn't want to go through childbirth.

After a while of walking, I found the battle ground that Hashirama and Kakuzu would use. Surprisingly, it was a training ground, and quickly scanned the area for a good hiding spot May could use. I found one, just behind some trees and bushes. I took a piece of chalk, from May's mind and brought it into the real world. Some people may think that doing that needed chakra, but when you were only a spirit, it was possible to do so without tiring yourself. I drew a star where sadist should position herself.

Again I heard the faint voice whisper 'Kurohime' when I said sadist again, and then it went back to saying Shirohime.

"Hm, what are you doing here?" Someone said from behind me. I froze, and turned around to see a young Sakumo Hatake. "What's a stranger like you doing here?"

"U-um, m-my name is S-shirohime, and I'm t-trying to d-decide whether t-to join the v-village or n-not," I said, speaking like Hinata, my second favorite character, and May's old pal's, Jean, favorite character of all time. My favorite character would be Anko, sadist's being Itachi. Darn it, there's that voice again, though it quieted down when I said my name was Shirohime.

"Oh, then why don't I show you around?" The young Sakumo asked. I shook my head, and then smiled, telling him that I already got a tour of the village. To my relief, he seemed satisfied with that answer, and went home.

I sighed, and after deciding that I did not want to completely rejoin with May, since she was probably being bombarded with questions, I went to a bar, to enjoy a nice cup of sake.

Although May hated tea and sake, sadist loved tea, and I loved sake.

* * *

**Nene: Happy birthday, Nono-teme!**

**Deidara: Why'd you call your brother a teme when it's his birthday, un?**

**Nene: Because he is one, plus, he calls me that too. Anyway, I particularly liked RyOuKa's suggestion, since it reminded me of Zetsu, and because it made sense!**

**Deidara: Hey, we still don't know where Tobi is, un.**

**[Super duper secret place that it totally not my room]**

**Tobi: Stop it! Nooooooooooo!**

**Kurohime (Sadist): Hahaha! You will do as I say, slave! And all I had to do was shred a picture of Rin, heh!**

**Tobi: Aaaahhhh! Make it stop!**

**[Back to the place that is absolutely not my backyard]**

**Nene: I think Kurohime still has him, we should probably wish him good luck, meh. Do the announcements Deidara, or else I will somehow get Kurotsuchi in here so she can torture you, mwhahahaha!**

**Deidara: -Sigh- Review, un. In the next chapter, May-san will spar with someone and Hashirama vs. Kakuzu will commence, so stay tuned, un. Also, May-san has no intention of marrying Tobirama, she feels that she is too old for him, being that she is immortal, un.**


	14. Sparring and a Hole in the Wall

**"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." -Jim Carrey**

**Disclaimer: Whaaaat? Of course I don't own Naruto.**

**Dedicated to: 4701rose, the fight scenes shall commence! Though I'm not good at them.**

* * *

**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'Thinking/White Zetsu'_ (Thinking does not apply to sadist or pacifist or May when it's their POV)

"Talking"

*Mwhahahaha!* (Nene-chan, whenever it is on sadist's POV)

* * *

**~First person perspective~**

It was the day Kakuzu-sensei would come and attempt to assassinate Hashirama. Shirohime, pacifist kept on requesting that I call her that from now on, had already gone back into my mind, and was practicing her aim on a target shaped like Kurohime, pacifist kept on telling me to call sadist that too, to make sure she hit the right spots to give someone temporary death, like with what Haku did to Zabuza.

Now normally on something as vital as today I would be meditating and saving up my chakra so I could use it to assist me in carrying Kurohime, because I couldn't make the clone disappear right away, and because my alter egos felt whatever was inflicted to the body that was currently hosting them. However, an idiot named Tobirama messed everything up for me. Yes, I can stand pretending to be his lover for three days, Shirohime was the one who despised him, and I would be leaving before the end of the week, when Hashirama decided to marry us. Yes, I can stand the glares that were sent my way by his fangirls, and the hyper Mito who was happy her brother-in-law actually knew what love was. But, no, just, no. I can not go through a spar when everyone expects me to be amazing at ninjutsu. Might I remind you that I have low reserves, and the only reason I could use the wood release was because both of my alter egos were combining their powers and having me use them? I don't think so, because I have been ranting and ranting on and on in my head that I was at best, genin level when it came to ninjutsu. Maybe a chunin with taijustu and strategy, but I was not good at ninjutsu or genjutsu.

So, to put my super long and unnecessary explanation short, I want to die right now because the council is telling me to pick an opponent to spar with me. Though now that I think about it...I'll just choose Tobirama and torture him as much as my feeble self can! Mwhahahahahahahahahaha!

_'Hey, May, how are you going to beat the teme? He's going to be the Nidaime Hokage, and you could hardly pass as a chunin without the help of Kurohime and I,'_ Shirohime, kindly commented. Wow, don't you love sarcasm?

"Haru-san, please tell us who you wish to spar with," a council member asked, stopping me from talking back to my alter ego.

"I guess I'll just choose Tobirama?" I said, err, asked. Yeah, just because I'm crazy doesn't mean I'm brave all the time, it just means that someone dropped me when I was a baby, multiple times.

The council looked startled by my choice, but Mito seemed very happy. And I mean very, very happy by my choice. It's like she wants someone to beat him up.

_'Mito, you are now the most respected person in this world, besides Anko,'_ Shirohime said.

Well it does make sense why Shirohime would respect Mito, seeing how Mito is happy I'm going to spar with Tobira- Hey! Am I not someone you respect?

_'Meh, you could be respectable, if you were stronger,'_ Shirohime replied. I sighed at her answer, and got up from my seat. Some of the council members told me that I was to spar with Tobirama right away soooooo-

"I must escape while I can!" I exclaimed, and began to run out the door, until Tobirama caught me.

"Come on May, we have to spar," he said, dragging me to an arena thingy, as I struggled all the way there. I noticed that the arena we were going to was the same place that Shirohime said Hashirama and Kakuzu-sensei were going to fight.

* * *

"All right, this match will determine if you are worthy to marry Tobirama, Haru-san," Hashirama said as Tobirama and I stood across from each other in the arena.

"What if I don't want to marry Tobirama?" I said, not feeling like fighting, at all.

"Nonsense, you will prove your worth and marry my brother, now let the spar begin!" Hashirama announced, and automatically, Tobirama made multiple shadow clones. Yep, I'm gonna die.

"Wait, what?!" I yelled, still kinda startled that Hashirama really wanted to marry off Tobirama, not ready to fight the future Nidaime, and because all the clones threw weapons at me.

Oh look, he distracted me with clones and now there are paper bombs all around me. And they're about to explode! I'm pretty sure Tobirama is enjoying this, isn't he a nice fiancé?

Anyway, I jumped up just in time, because the paper bombs exploded right away. Oh look, more paper bombs flying my way, just my luck. I quickly ran into the ditch that Tobirama created with the paper bombs, trying to hide. Sadly, Tobirama found me instantly. So, I went to my last resort! Using ninjutsu! Now, I can do academy jutsus, but just because I can do them doesn't mean I'm always successful when I perform them.

"Um, Shunshin no Jutsu!" I screamed out as I scrambled through the one hand seal. Yeah, I have problems with doing the Ram seal apparently. The leaves and flowers I enjoy using in the jutsu appeared as I disappeared. Thankfully, they distracted Tobirama and the crowd, mainly the people who once knew me, since I used bubbles, rainbows, and flowers with the body Flicker Technique when I was in the village. When I was training with Kakuzu-sensei, he showed me a neat way I could distract people.

Almost immediately as I reappeared in a tiny forest in the arena, the flowers and leaves burst into flames, gaining a lot of attention. I mean, how many people do you know who would take their time to prepare rare flowers and special leaves, just to burn them? Not many I hope. I mean, I love flowers and all, but seriously, I had to burn them, I just had to.

Anyway, I had a good reason to set fire to the precious flowers and leaves. During my travels with Kakuzu-sensei, a couple seeds got stuck in my hair. Kakuzu-sensei had seen me growing and taking care of them, and explained to me that the plants that I was growing were able to either poison, paralyze, induce sleep, blur vision, burn, or sap energy out of someone.

And in this case, the flowers I burned gave off a scent, mixed with the smoke, that paralyzed you completely. I knew I was risking accidently paralyzing anyone in the crowd who inhaled the smoke, but the smoke only reached a one-mile radius, and even though the smoke reached farther than that, the paralyzing scent only reached one mile.

Anyway, because Tobirama was confused by the burning flowers, since he knew I loved flowers, he got trapped in the smoke, the scent of the scorched flowers paralyzing him. I took this time to summon Indra's katanas from the scroll on my back, and rushed into the smoke, after I put on a mask that Kakuzu-sensei had given me, and I silently walked through the smoke, quickly locating Tobirama with Shirohime's help.

_'It's time for us to take revenge on Tobi-teme,' _Shirohime commented as I stealthily waled to Tobirama's position.

The smoke still hadn't cleared, and it would last for five minutes longer. I stood a couple feet away from my target, thinking of a suitable way to torture him. A sadistic smirk etched onto my face when I thought of a gruesome way to hurt the man who messed up my plans. Yeah, when your 'pacifist' alter ego's idol is Anko Mitarashi, and you have a sadistic alter ego that really needs to go to a mental hospital, you pick up a few things. Plus, when the voice in your head hates the man in front of you with a passion, it's kinda hard not to follow the voice's orders to hurt him.

Don't get me wrong, Tobirama was tolerable in my opinion, but when you lie and say that I'm in a relationship with you, weeeeeellll, the last guy who did that had to have therapy for multiple weeks. So, because Tobirama lied and said he was my fiancé, I just had to inflict pain on him! I mean, come on! Now his brother and Mito are trying to wed us, though I'm lucky that I'll be gone before their planned 'wedding date'.

So, after revising my plans once more, I ran towards the future Nidaime quickly, the special katana out of it's sheath and glistening in the dark smoke. I did a quick slash to his left arm, and then skidded to a stop, turning around, and repeating the process over and over again. Eventually I had switched to slashing at his right arm, and by the time the smoke cleared, the crowd could see Tobirama's arms littered in many cuts. Though the cuts were shallow, there were many of them, and so blood was pooling at Tobirama's feet.

To my disappointment, the paralyzation effect on Tobirama had worn off along with the smoke, so he moved his right arm to his left hand, doing basic medical ninjutsu and healing the cuts on that arm, then switching arms, and doing the same thing.

By the time Tobirama finished healing the shallow cuts, I was running at him at my fastest speed, with the weights on me, the katana I was using sealed back into the scroll, and replaced by shuriken that were hidden in my dress. I threw them, praying to karma or fate or whatever god or deity, that my aim would be good this time. Sadly, only one shuriken hit Tobirama, and after he plucked it off his arm, he charged toward me, planning to punch me square in the face.

And because I knew that punch would be painful, I bent down to take off my weights, only to be punched in the stomach instead of face. I stumbled back, and had no time to retreat, being bombarded by kicks and punches from Tobirama. Maybe I should've trained more in endurance, because Tobirama was amazing at taijutu, and that was a fact no one could deny.

I heard Shirohime scolding me, and I prepared to do the only thing I was capable to do at the moment. My hands were busy blocking Tobirama's attacks, so I couldn't perform any jutsus, or punch him. I ducked a kick that was aimed for my head, and I did a low kick to Tobirama.

To Shirohime's amusement, I accidently kicked Tobirama in a certain spot, which brought him plenty of pain. I took this moment to take off the weights tied around my ankles. They were tiny, but they weighed a lot. I panicked when I saw that Tobirama was recovering quickly, so I threw the weights at his face.

To my relief, the weights actually hit Tobirama and inflicted pain. I took that chance to jump into the forest again. I sighed happily as I searched for Tobirama's chakra signature and couldn't sense him near, until the tree right next to me was obliterated by water. It startled me, and caused me to fall off the tree I was on, only to see Tobirama running at me, full speed.

_'Quit being a scaredy cat and fight! He's the one who put us in this mess!'_ Shirohime yelled, and gave my body as much of her chakra as she could, which wasn't much. Now, my alter egos had a good amount of chakra compared to me, but it's always hard for them to give me their chakra.

I didn't put the chakra given to me to waste, nope, I did one of the only impressive jutsus I could do. It was meant for emergencies, but with more chakra I didn't need to worry about that. It was also the same jutsu I was practicing in Waterfall that got that guy in e hospital, Raiton: Gian (Lightning Release: False Darkness). It was the jutsu that Kakuzu's lightning mask used. Though Kakuzu-sensei didn't know the jutsu yet, it was easy for me to learn it since it only had one hand seal, snake, the hand seal I was best at.

I easily performed the seal, and could feel electricity erupting from my hands. Unlike the lightning mask, the electricity did not come from my mouth, cause that would be very dangerous for a clumsy girl like me. The electricity started shooting out from my hands and I did my best to control my chakra, eventually turning the electric spear into a beam, aimed straight at Tobirama.

Tobirama didn't expect me to use ninjutsu above E or D rank, so his left arm got hit by the lightning beam. And even though I had to stop the jutsu early to prevent chakra exhaustion, I was proud I actually performed the jutsu without making a mistake. However, my moment of joy was stopped short when Tobirama kicked me in the stomach. I jumped up to dodge the second kick he had aimed at me.

Before I knew it, Tobirama was charging at me again, a sword in his hand, and I had to take my katana out of the scroll. When He reached me, the metal of our blades clashed, and got stuck to each other for a small amount of time, before we both pulled apart and charged at each other again. This continued for a while, until I decided to add some lightning into the blade of the katana.

Next thing I knew, lightning was flying everywhere. Tobirama and I jumped apart once more, before I looked up to the sky, to notice that it was dark, and that Tobirama and I had been fighting for a long time. My eyes widened, remembering that Kakuzu-sensei was going to attack Hashirama tonight.

Suddenly, there was an explosion up where Hashirama was. Tobirama and I stopped fighting, to see a hole blasted through the wall of the arena, and two figures faintly in the smoke caused by a paper bomb. When the smoke cleared, I saw Kakuzu-sensei, and Kurohime, disguised as the me that Takigakure knew.

"Ano, Kakuzu-sensei, why did we blow off a wall when there was no ceiling?" Kurohime asked, looking at my teacher, and proving a very good point.

"Everyone retreat, I'll handle this," Hashirama said, and as people left, wood started spiraling out of the ground near Kakuzu-sensei and Kurohime. Soon, the only people left were Hashirama, Kurohime, Kakuzu, Tobirama, and I. Tobirama grabbed my wrist, and started to pull me away, and was successfully restraining me, he used Shunshin.

* * *

"May, did you know those two were going to arrive?" Tobirama questioned, "They were from Takigakure,"

I sighed, and then took out the box of ribbons, from Tobirama and Hashirama, from the scroll, and opened it up, taking out a ribbon with the Takigakure symbol on it. I took off the Konoha forehead protector and placed it back in the box. Then, I tied the Waterfall hetai-ate to my arm. "Well, one of them happens to be my sensei," I answered, then sheepishly grinned.

"May! Why-" Tobirama shouted, only to be cut off by an explosion. I turned around, and sighed again, running towards the arena, to fake my death to my sensei. Tobirama was running after me, but I was faster without my weights.

* * *

**~Shirohime's POV~**

By the time Tobirama reached May, she was already in the trees, switching places with me, so I could throws senbon at Kurohime. The only reasonable reason why I was not placed in a clone, was because the Shinju was getting harder to control everyday. Four years ago was the last time Kurohime and I were in clones at the same time, but four years ago, the Ten-Tails almost got out. Though the tailed beasts were created, leaving a physical husk of the Shinju, May kept a little bit of it's chakra, compared to the tailed beasts it was pretty good. That was why the Ten-Tails was not just a husk, it still had some chakra, and that's also why I had arguments with it. And let me tell you, it was very rude,

Anyway, just as Tobirama arrived, I shot the senbon at Kurohime, making her faint right on the spot, because I hit that special spot in the neck that gave her a temporary death. When Kurohime fell to the ground, I could feel May trying her best to keep the clone from disappearing. Kurohime falling also got the attention of Kakuzu, Hashirama, and Tobirama.

Hashirama looked confused, because he had not attacked the girl. Kakuzu looked enraged that his 'student' was 'dead', which I found very nice, since that showed that he cared about May. Tobirama was staring at me thinking May was crazy, not understanding anything, since May had put on a Takigakure hetai-ate, and I had just 'killed' a Waterfall ninja. Tobirama was about to scream at me, until I punched him in the face, something I very much enjoyed doing.

While Tobirama tended to the punch I threw at him, I switched with May, happy that I got to punch Tobirama one last time, because I had a feeling this would be last time we would ever see Tobirama, until a looooong time.

* * *

**Nene: You'll get to read Kakuzu and Hashirama's fight next chapter.**

**Deidara: I'm bored, un.**

**Nene: If you're so bored than I'll just have to take you to a movie I know you'll love.**

**Deidara: And what movie would that be, un?**

**Nene: It's called 'Kurohime Tortures Tobi With Methods That Anko Mitarashi And Ibiki Morino Use'.**

**Deidara: Ooh, I really want to watch that, un.**

**Nene: I'll take you later, I've got to tell the readers something.**

**Deidara: Fine, un.**

**Nene: First of all, review! Second, some things will be different in the story, because May obviously messed things up just by becoming the Ten-Tails host, she's just trying her best to not mess things up even more than she will.**

**Deidara: There, you're done, now take me to ****'Kurohime Tortures Tobi With Methods That Anko Mitarashi And Ibiki Morino Use', un.**


	15. Identity and Omake

**"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday." -Don Marquis**

**Disclaimer: No no, you got this all wrong, I don't own Naruto, I do, however, own my violin case which has colorful rainbow yarn all over it.**

**Dedicated to: Sleep, oh how I love sleep.**

* * *

**'Sadistic personality'**

_'Pacifist personality'_

**'Inner/Black Zetsu/Tailed Beast'**

_'White Zetsu'_

"Talking"

*Mwhahahaha!* (Nene-chan, whenever it is on sadist's POV)

* * *

**~First person perspective~**

I blinked once, then twice before I rushed towards Kurohime as fast as I could. But I made a big mistake, and forgot to keep the clone from disappearing. Just as Hashirama aimed a wooden spike at Kakuzu-sensei, the clone Kurohime was in disappeared.

For those small ten seconds, time seemed to stretch forever. I skidded to a stop, stopping where Kurohime and the clone were. I saw Kakuzu-sensei turn his head, to see his student gone, as the wooden spike flew towards him. Blood splattered everywhere, and my eyes widened.

I faintly remember Tobirama running towards me, but I was too distracted by the blood. Thankfully, Kakuzu-sensei survived, and got back up on his feet, after he ripped out the spike lodged into him and healed himself a bit. I watched as Hashirama threw more spikes at Kakuzu-sensei, Kakuzu-sensei dodging them as his tentacles, stitches thingy shot at the Shodaime. I just stood there, completely frozen, as jutsu after jutsu was thrown back and forth.

Kakuzu-sensei managed to grab Hashirama'a arm with his stitches thing and threw him across the room. Hashirama easily got back up and had one of the roots he was controlling throw a giant shurikenn at Kakuzu-sensei.

For a very long thirty minutes, it went on like this: Hashirama would have his roots throw weapons at Kakuzu-sensei, and Kakuzu-sensei would catch the weapons with his stitch thingy-do and throw it back. Every once in a while Tobirama would try and help his brother and would perform a water jutsu towards Kakuzu-sensei, but Shirohime would take over my body and would slap Tobirama before he could perform the jutsu. Then, to my horror, Kakuzu-sensei passed out from chakra exhaustion.

**'Chakra exhaustion, it's always chakra exhaustion,'** I heard Kurohime say, as she woke up from being hit on the neck, and from coming back to my head from a clone.

My eyes widened and I ran in front of my teacher, having a wooden spike aimed at my unconscious teacher go through my stomach. I cringed, it was like Madara ripping out my heart all over again, just not as bad. At least I had more endurance now. When I turned my head, I came face to face with a traumatized Tobirama. I wonder why he looks traumatized?

_'Maybe he looks like he saw a ghost because you got impaled by a wooden spike, and you're acting like you're perfectly fine?'_ Shirohime answered, waking up from her nap, that she always has after she switches places with me, taking her back into my mind.

I ignored Tobirama and picked up Kakuzu-sensei, getting ready to Shunshin out of the arena/battlefield/training grounds. Hashirama didn't attack me even more, thankfully, and was probably shocked that his brother's "fiancé" got a sharp, giant stick impaled through her. Yup, if Mito was here, he'd be dead by now for hurting the only woman Tobirama showed 'affection' towards.

_'The only type of affection you get from Tobirama is an annoyed one,'_ Shirohime commented.

**'No, he cares about the brat a tiny bit. He thought May was the result of his reanimation jutsu, remember? That means he was trying revive her, and I highly doubt he would want to revive May just so she could annoy him, bitch,'** Kurohime said, aggravting Shirohime, again.

_'Maybe he wasn't trying to revive her, maybe-'_ Shirohime started to ramble on, and soon an all out brawl began in my head.

I tuned out my alter egos' fighting and stumbled a bit as I placed my hands in the sign for the Body Flicker Technique. I was about to perform the jutsu, until I noticed that I was running out of chakra. Great. "Hmm, risk chakra exhaustion, which will probably put me in a one week coma, or let Hashi-chan learn my true identity? Tough choices, tough choices. What do you think, teme?" I said out loud, taping my chin with my finger, as I turned around to face Tobirama, the question was rhetorical, of course, like hell I'd listen to what Tobirama tells me, he might be trying kill me for what Shirohime made me do to him all those years. Tying him to a pole, dunking yellow paint on his head, making him trip into a pile of honey, and so much more, I'm pretty sure he's out to get me.

If I undid the transformation technique, I would have enough chakra to Shunshin out of here and not faint, but Hashirama would know that I've been alive this entire time and would most likely send out people to find me, which, in Shikamaru's words, would be troublesome. If I kept the transformation technique on, Hashirama would never learn my identity, unless Tobirama told him, which he probably will anyway, but. I would faint from chakra exhaustion. Now that I think of it though, letting Hashirama learn my identity seems better than chakra exhaustion, since Tobirama will most likely tell Hashirama it was me the entire time.

So, with my descion made, I undid the transformation technique. Oops, wait, I didn't undo it enough, I look like the May that Hashirama 'killed'. Okay, now I look like the May that Madara 'killed', much better. When I moved my bangs out of my eyes, I saw Hashirama with his mouth open, pointing an accusing finger at me.

I carefully laid down Kakuzu-sensei, and walked over to Hashirama. "Y-y-you! H-how? Th-this must be a-a h-henge!" Hashirama stuttered out, still pointing at me. Then, he looked at my chakra signature, and next thing I knew I was being crushed by a hug. "May! It is you! Where have you been? I thought Madara ripped out your heart!" Hashirama exclaimed as he hugged me.

"Hashirama, let go of her, you look undignified and you're cutting off the circulation of her blood," Tobirama scolded, going into, I'm-serious-and-intimidating-so-you-should-listen-to-me, mode. I guess they both forgot that I had a wooden spike impaled into me, because when Hashirama hugged me, it fell out of me, and left a large hole where my stomach should be.

Hashirama immediately let go of me, and went off to sulking, like he always did when he was scolded. I walked over to Kakuzu-sensei, ready to Shunshin off to a random place near Waterfall. Right when I performed the jutsu, I heard Hashirama yell something. I think it was 'somebody go after her'? I wouldn't know, because I disappeared in burning flowers and leaves again.

* * *

**_-_OMAKE 1_-_**

**~Kakuzu's POV~**

May has been acting strange recently. Usually, she suggests doing something crazy or doing a stunt that will cost us money, but she's been quiet throughout the entire trip, not even complaining that she wanted udon soup, which was even stranger because she loved udon soup.

Anyway, we were nearing Konoha, and I asked my student to locate where the Shodaime Hokage was. She found the Hokage's location after a couple minutes and we ran towards an arena, hiding in the shadows so we wouldn't get caught.

We looked into one of the many windows of the arena, to see a battle going on inside. It was a spar between a woman and the candidate for the Nidaime Hokage, Hashirama Senju's brother. The woman's chakra signature was oddly, exactly like May's. She mainly used taijutsu, and even performed same lightning jutsu that May was practicing. It was like I was looking at an older May, with a different hair and eye color.

After scanning the arena once more, I found the first Hokage. My student and I walked over to the wall right next to the Hokage. I was placing explosive tags on the wall, to create an entrance, but May didn't seem excited that I was going to use a dramatic entrance this time, something I rarely did, yet something she enjoyed doing. May's expression was blank, like she was dozing off, though that wasn't weird, since she did that every single day.

I sighed as I placed the last explosive tag on the wall, and got ready to activate it. I usually hate destroying things, because it costs me money, but this wasn't property that I would have to repair, the village would have to repair it.

Anyway, the wall crumbled down once the explosive tags were set off, and when the smoke cleared, I saw everybody's eyes on us. Then, May asked a question that made me doubt that the girl next to me was actually my student. "Ano, Kakuzu-sensei, why did we destroy the wall when there's no roof?" She stated blinking a couple times to get some dust out of her eyes.

I stared at her for a while, and noticed something was wrong with her chakra. The Hokage had ordered everyone to go, but the woman and the Shodaime's brother didn't leave. May, possibly not May, and I began battling Hashirama. I had given her strict orders not to participate in the battle, but she was firing long range attacks at the Hokage, to assist me in the assassination.

I began doubting the girl behind me was May, even more, because May was a short to mid-range fighter, and she hardly knew any long range attacks. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the Hokage's brother, I think his name was Tobi-something, restrain the woman he was fighting earlier, and shunshin out of the arena.

I dodged a wooden spike that was hurled at me, and shot my stitches at the Hokage, landing a hit on his arm. Weapons and jutsus were thrown back and forth, and every once in a while I would catch a wood spike thrown at me and throw it back. I jumped down into the arena to avoid roots that shot out of the ground to strangle me, and my (possibly an imposter) student followed me.

The Hokage was a tough opponent, and I had bruises and gashes all over me, from his attacks. He jumped down into the arena as well and took out a ninjato, running at me with full speed. I quickly took out a kunai and reflected the slash aimed for my face. I took this chance to shoot my stitches at the Senju, and landed a hit on his stomach, leaving a tear on his clothes and a nasty cut on his skin.

I thought I heard footsteps, but I didn't pay attention to them, my only goal at the moment was to assassinate the Hokage. Then, it was like everything was in slow motion. I turned my head to see wooden senbon fired at my student/might-be-an-imposter, but she didn't seem to move, even though she obviously know they were going towards her. The senbon hit her in the neck, and she fell to the ground with a thud.

Her chakra seemed to be disappearing, like a clone's would once it was hit, but I felt a chakra stopping the disappearing chakra from disappearing. The chakra doing that was exactly like May's, just like how the woman had chakra exactly like May's too.

Though I knew the girl on the ground was not my student, I could tell it was a clone because it was about to poof out of existence, a part of me still said I had to avenge the girl that looked like my student. I threw multiple kunai and shuriken at the Hokage, wanting to finish the mission quickly so I could look for my student, but the wood that the Hokage manipulated caught all of them.

I turned my head just in time to see the clone disappear in smoke, and the brunette who the Hokage's brother sparred with, stop running to skid to a stop where the fake May was earlier. I saw her eyes widen as I turned my head once more to have a spike penetrate my skin and lodge itself inside me. Blood splattered everywhere and the woman behind me seemed to freeze, as I saw the Hoakge's brother run towards her out of the corner of my eye. I quickly stopped the bleeding and bandaged myself to prevent infection. The Hokage hurled more spikes at me. I dodged them, and then shot my stitches at him, though he dodged them as well.

I aimed my stitches towards the Hokage and caught his arm. With all my power I threw him across the arena, having him crash into the wall just as he commanded his wood to throw a giant shuriken at me. He got up quickly and we seemed to be doing the same things over and over again. The Shodaime threw weapons at me, and I caught them and threw them back. I saw his brother try and attack me, but the brunette behind me slapped him before he could perform it. And she seemed to slap him every five seconds.

I was about to end the mission by firing my stitches at the Hokage, but I passed out from chakra exhaustion. I didn't pass out completely and I could barely see, but I was still awake. I saw the woman behind me walk up to me and pick me up, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and barely lifting me up to my feet, as if she was going to bring me somewhere, most likely an interrogation room.

I listened in on the conversation the three people were having, which wasn't much of a conversation. "Hmm, risk chakra exhaustion, which will probably put me in a one week coma, or let Hashi-chan learn my true identity? Tough choices, tough choices, what do you think, teme?" The woman said, tapping her chin with her finger.

The candidate for Nidiame didn't answer her question, and I watched as the woman seemed to undo a jutsu placed on her. She undid the jutsu a little, and ended up looking just like May. I put two and two together, and guessed that the person struggling to carry me was the real May, who probably had a plan that she didn't tell me about. I saw the Shodaime's confused expression, because May had just dropped 'dead' in front of him.

Then, to my confusion, May undid more of the jutsu placed on her, and she ended up looking just like the woman who was wanted dead the most in the bingo books, but had been taken out of the bingo books because she was pronounced dead. May, was the woman's name, and just as I was about to lose consciousness, I realized that my student, May, was the same person as May, who helped start Konoha, the ambassador for the Whirlpool country, the woman with links to many great clans, the woman who was wanted dead the most in the bingo books. I also realized that the famous May who disrespected the Konoha council and didn't get killed had complimented me when I wasn't well known, and had wanted me to train her. Apparently, I'm the teacher of a woman who everyone thinks is dead.

* * *

**Nene: -sulking- It took me so long just to get this chapter done.**

**Deidara: Haha, un! Kurohime is using Tobi as a target for her training, un!**

**Kurohime: So, Tobi, ready to admit that you're really Obito?**

**Tobi: Noooo! Tobi is Tobi and Tobi is a good boy!**

**Kurohime: Then be a good boy and stay still, I'm going to introduce you to my little friends named shuriken.**

**Tobi: Nooooooooooo!**

**Nene: Sorry it took so long to update. Reviews are appreciated, and if you're gonna complain, can you please sugar coat for me? Complaints help me improve and are appreciated as well, but you could at least make it nice.**


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